The Good Chair (Reddit Challenge Song)

We dragged it out by the kitchen door. That old brown thing with the crooked arm. It caught your sleeve if you walked too close. It leaned left like it knew a joke. Mama said, “Put a blanket on it.” Ray said, “That blanket quit.” June said, “Burn the whole thing.” Then we all laughed a little bit. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody lets it go. It squeaks like rain on a tin roof. It rocks too hard, then slow. We laugh and say, “Not mine.” We swear it weighs a ton. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody moves it on. Uncle kept saying, “Set it by the road. Someone will take it if the sign says free.” Mama wrote “FREE” on a cardboard box, then crossed it out where no one could see. Ray said, “I got a truck.” Then added, “Not today.” I said, “It smells like coffee and old tobacco smoke.” Nobody answered. Nobody moved. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody lets it go. It squeaks like rain on a tin roof. It rocks too hard, then slow. We laugh and say, “Not mine.” We swear it weighs a ton. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody moves it on. After the service, we came back loud. Too many plates. Too much pie. Someone told the fishing story wrong. Someone fixed it from the side. The room kept waiting for the old correction. The cough. The tap. The “That ain’t right.” The chair sat empty in the corner. No one looked there twice. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody lets it go. It squeaks like rain on a tin roof. It rocks too hard, then slow. We laugh and say, “Not mine.” We swear it weighs a ton. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody moves it on. It was ugly when he owned it. Ugly when he called it fine. Ugly when he fell asleep there with the paper on his side. Now it sits too much like waiting. Now it takes too much of the room. Now the worst thing we can say is: “Somebody ought to use it soon.” Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody lets it go. It squeaks like rain on a tin roof. It rocks too hard, then slow. We laugh and say, “Not mine.” We swear it weighs a ton. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody moves it on. Morning found it where we left it. Sunlight on the worn-out seat. One cup ring on the side table. Two deep marks where he kept his feet. Nobody wants the good chair. Nobody lets it go.