Out of Breath I look at “my life” and I see rivers in it, crevasses, abysses, walls, summits and stones. I walk this path, I tread it sleepwalking toward an elsewhere and a tomorrow that everyone claims as theirs but that will never be mine. And I stand there looking, spectator of a scene I invented, a tumultuous script, perfectly orchestrated. The wind freezes my face but I keep looking ahead. I turn around without pretense to face this story I built here. And I tell myself… That all I was seeking was Your Love, believing it lost forever… God, I searched for You EVERYWHERE You are so terribly missing from my “being”. Through every pair of eyes of every person I met, through myself, through them… I have only been looking for You. Your Love is priceless to me and I know it is up to ME to open my eyes to the sand and the dust that settled there… so that You may cleanse, with Your divine, LUMINOUS breath, all these fragments on my cornea that I felt so painfully. I believed in the illusion of things, in birth and in death, in money, in exclusive love… Today I rest from all that. I empty my bag of these “treasures” I could never let go. I look at them laid on the ground, and I tell myself they are nothing— just a pile of heavy, crazed things compared to the Love that is Yours. I laugh at having once thought I could replace You. Today… I realize the depth of Your Love and how I always denied it… The world, the people, the objects, the stories of drama or joy are only faint reflections of a dream that never ends. I slept in a dark dream clinging to every step I took, a dream in which I suffered wounds… inflicted by someone other than me. That is the ultimate deception, the lie and all its forgeries… God, I want to wake up! I want to come home, to feel that we are only ONE… and that nothing else has any reason to be.
