[Verse 1] Now listen up, Ozzy, take a little advice Keep your money in your sock and your eyes on the ice If a girl says come on back, well, you best assume 'Cause everybody's a fool in the champagne room, fool! [Pre-Chorus] Always wear your seatbelt Call your mother once a week Never trust a coach Who says the QB job's unique And no matter what she tells you No matter how she croon There's no love, boy, no love In the champagne room! [Chorus] Fool, fool Everybody's a fool Fool, fool In the champagne room Everybody's a fool Everybody's a fool Fool! [Verse 2] Come on in, Nobody We heard you won the game We know all about your long road home We even know your name Forget the road, forget the girl Forget the porch light on One night in the champagne room And Ithaca'll be gone [Pre-Chorus] Ozzy: ...home? I got a... There's a... a girl? A Penny? A... Eury: PENNY, Oz! Pretty Penny! Waitin' at home! REMEMBER— [Chorus] Fool, fool Everybody's a fool Fool, fool In the champagne room Everybody's a fool Everybody's a fool Fool! [Bridge] ...I don't... It's so far... And this is so... What road? What Penny? (to the girls) ...I'm Nobody Show me the champagne room [Verse 3] ...Nobody, huh? Well I'm Calypso, sugar And nobody ever leaves Calypso's Come home with me Stay a while Stay seven years, ten years Who's countin'? You don't need Ithaca You've got me now [Chorus] Fool, fool Everybody's a fool Fool, fool In the champagne room Everybody's a fool Everybody's a fool Fool! [Outro] Oz—! OZ—! Don't go with her—! Next! Party of five — the champagne room'll see you now! ...everybody's a fool in the champagne room... Fool...! ...that's it, Nobody Forget them all ...forget
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