The Griffith College Cockroach

THE GRIFFITH COLLEGE COCKROACH [VERSE 1] At Griffith College, end of the road, Cheap little flat in a student abode, I stepped from the shower, clean as could be, When something prehistoric ran under me. I leapt off his back with remarkable grace, Birkenstock justice descended with pace, I carried the corpse to the kids at the desk— “Cockroach,” I said. Not subtle. Not-esque. [PRE-CHORUS] I skipped the spray, I gave advice, I let the matter lie, One filthy roach was not enough To ruin Dublin sky. [CHORUS] Cockroach! Cockroach! Plain as plain could be, One ran across the bathroom floor, One ran from honesty. Call it something smaller, Change the tale by noon— Funny how a little lie Can fill a bloody room. [VERSE 2] We saw the Gallery, drank some beer, A boxty later, all good cheer, Rain on Dublin, soft & grey, A pretty decent final day. Then just before we went to bed, A larger shape appeared instead— MAMMA came waddling, broad & slow, Four tiny babies in a row, Then Aunties followed, two or three— A full damn roach genealogy. No booking form, no rooming list, No awkward little check-in twist, Just Mamma, babies, Auntie Sue— Apparently they’d booked there too. [CHORUS] Cockroach! Cockroach! Now there’s quite a few, Mamma, babies, Aunties too— A family rendezvous! One had six legs, One had an excuse, One died beneath my Birkenstock, One kept wriggling loose. [BRIDGE — spoken] Morning comes. My husband says: “The girls at reception said “you agreed it was only a silverfish…”” & you declined maintenance.” … I beg your pardon? [VERSE 3] I wasn’t mad about the bug, I wasn’t making war, I killed the thing, I showed the desk, Then carried on once more. So why invent a silverfish? Why change what I had said? Why tell my husband I agreed The cockroach wasn’t dead? “We never called you a liar— You just don’t remember.” Ah. There it is. [PRE-CHORUS] A roach will hide behind the wall, Then scatter from the light, A liar does the same damn thing When facts come into sight. A roach is only doing What a roach was born to do— But people get a choice in life. So which one bothers you? [FINAL CHORUS] Cockroach! Cockroach! Now the word has two: 8 crawled across the bedroom floor, One crawled away from Truth. One had six legs, One had an alibi, One was dead by breakfast— One kept feeding me a lie. Cockroach! Cockroach! Scurry, duck & hide, One was underneath my shoe, One was standing there inside. You could have said, “Yep, that’s a roach. We’re sorry. That’s Ecology.” Instead you made a tiny pest A question of your word. [OUTRO] Roaches hate the daylight, Liars hate it too, Shine a little truth around & watch what scurries through. So Griffith, here’s the moral, Simple, short & true: If there’s a cockroach in the room, Don’t let the liar Be you.