A Present for Santa at the Mall

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Well bacon tried his best
Lord how he tried to fight
But Santa’s red suit was gonna get a new color that night…

Well Bacon took a shit in Santa’s lap
Right when he got up Santa asked
What do you want for Christmas
And then the diarrhea explosion occurred 
Ok Santa never saw it comin’
Bacon ran off stumblin’
Yeah Santa got a special christmas present at the mall and it was a giant fuckin’ turd!

Well Santa had to take 5, while bacon ran off to wipe
I was next in line and I was eating some Taco Bell
Finish my crunch wrap supreme, then my face started turning green
It’s was my turn, Santa returned clean, and lord I’m about to give him another brown sheen

Well I just took a shit in Santa’s lap
Right when I got up Santa asked
Would you like a new guitar
Then I made a fuckin’ shart
Ok Santa never saw it comin’
I ran off stumblin’
Yeah Santa got a special christmas present at the mall and it was a giant fuckin’ turd!

*steel guitar solo*
*fiddle solo*
*banjo solo*

Well Santa went to go wash off again then fuckfuck waddled in
Oh fuckfuck had a request, wanted to get on Santa’s list
Now fuckfuck can’t communicate and he don’t got no balls so he can’t masterbait 
Santa came back, fuckfuck jumped in his lap
And in true fashion he lifted his kitty tail, aimed at Santa’s face and let out a big brapt brapt braaapt!!!

Well fuckfuck just shited in Santa’s lap
Right when he got up Santa asked
What’s this fat fuckin cat doing here
Then FuckFuck aimed his rear
Ok Santa never saw it comin’
FuckFuck’s belly started rumblin’
Yeah Santa got a special christmas present at the mall and it was a giant fuckin’ turd!

Oh fuck fuck is fucking fat
Fuckfuck…is fucking fat
FuckFuck…is fucking fat
And he shits every wheeeereee!!!

*two male voices, spoken*
“Hey Jimi?”
“Yeah Bacon?”
“I SHARTED on Santa!”
“Bahahahaha me too dude he was pissed!”
“Did you see what FuckFuck did to him?”
“Oh yeah that was a natural poop disaster!”
“Merry Christmas FuckFuck! You’re still fucking fat!”
“YAY”
“Oh dude I SHARTED again…”
“Save some for later!!!”
“HOORAY!”

2401/7500

Well me and my best friend bacon were getting in the Christmas spirit Suddenly bacon bent over and said “Jimi I have to take a shit” I said dude can you hold it in line, we’re almost there I can see Santa’s beard and his curly white hair Well bacon tried his best Lord how he tried to fight But Santa’s red suit was gonna get a new color that night… Well Bacon took a shit in Santa’s lap Right when he got up Santa asked What do you want for Christmas And then the diarrhea explosion occurred Ok Santa never saw it comin’ Bacon ran off stumblin’ Yeah Santa got a special christmas present at the mall and it was a giant fuckin’ turd! Well Santa had to take 5, while bacon ran off to wipe I was next in line and I was eating some Taco Bell Finish my crunch wrap supreme, then my face started turning green It’s was my turn, Santa returned clean, and lord I’m about to give him another brown sheen Well I just took a shit in Santa’s lap Right when I got up Santa asked Would you like a new guitar Then I made a fuckin’ shart Ok Santa never saw it comin’ I ran off stumblin’ Yeah Santa got a special christmas present at the mall and it was a giant fuckin’ turd! *steel guitar solo* *fiddle solo* *banjo solo* Well Santa went to go wash off again then fuckfuck waddled in Oh fuckfuck had a request, wanted to get on Santa’s list Now fuckfuck can’t communicate and he don’t got no balls so he can’t masterbait Santa came back, fuckfuck jumped in his lap And in true fashion he lifted his kitty tail, aimed at Santa’s face and let out a big brapt brapt braaapt!!! Well fuckfuck just shited in Santa’s lap Right when he got up Santa asked What’s this fat fuckin cat doing here Then FuckFuck aimed his rear Ok Santa never saw it comin’ FuckFuck’s belly started rumblin’ Yeah Santa got a special christmas present at the mall and it was a giant fuckin’ turd! Oh fuck fuck is fucking fat Fuckfuck…is fucking fat FuckFuck…is fucking fat And he shits every wheeeereee!!! Oh fuck fuck is fucking fat Fuckfuck…is fucking fat FuckFuck…is fucking fat And he shits every wheeeereee!!! *two male voices, spoken* “Hey Jimi?” “Yeah Bacon?” “I SHARTED on Santa!” “Bahahahaha me too dude he was pissed!” “Did you see what FuckFuck did to him?” “Oh yeah that was a natural poop disaster!” “Merry Christmas FuckFuck! You’re still fucking fat!” “YAY” “Oh dude I SHARTED again…” “Save some for later!!!” “HOORAY!”

0/500