[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY REECE KRAVELI VERSUS STEVE JOBS [Verse] Feds in the telly with a ratchet like the hotel handyman Left Steve Jobs a vegetable and his apple was candied yams She got fired from the family, left me with the babysitter Had to pull my little sister out of a potato sack You wanna hear a good joke? Nobody speak, nobody get choked Jobs came back like a goddamn zombie Said, "I am not a man, I'm a Machina Deity" Then I choked the deity with a rosary God and devil meet like beef and broccoli Jobs has to be the Messiah, I mean The guy's in the graveyard but walking with the living So I burned his ass with sage, now he's part of the ritual Part of the religion, this was preordained Said his momma's named Mary and I was like, "Oh" Jobs from the dead and he had to be saved Me and Mary in the hotel and I had to get saved After we finished fucking, man, I had to get saved So she brought me a Jamba Juice with the wheatgrass At the top of the morning, man, I had to get saved Then I sent her on her way, and the Jesus returned So I fed him some shrooms like we doing in the church And his first trip ever was like finding Nirvana So I gave him a guitar and he said, "I don't need it" He played a little music, he said, "My name's Jobs" Told me that he wanted to start a little business Said he got some startup money, I should take it serious But I was looking at his dreads, and I couldn't take him serious So I gave him a sample of what I'd been cooking up And told him he could use it, told him, "Give me credit" But he ain't listen to a word I said 'Til I fed him all the knowledge of the Tree of Life That's when he met a serpent and the apple was bitten That's when I knew the Apple was finished And I tried to let him know, but he never did listen And his momma's in my DM and I left her on read But that's a story for another time, and you can hear it if you Wanna hear a good joke? Nobody speak, nobody get choked
