Dwarven Wedding Rap (Live)

[Intro – DJ + Dwarven Choir] DJ HOLD’EN (shouted): KAZAD VARNAK, MAKE SOME NOISE FOR THE NEWLEE WEDs! STONE HALL, DEEP BASE, NO ESCAPE ! [Dwarven choir (deep, looped):] “Baruk-az… khaz-dûm… dor-khaz, dor-khaz…” PIP (spoken, over beat): Sneak Attack in the vault tonight. Dwarven wedding, stone-set vows, gold-set rings, bass-set ribs. FATTYFOOT: We’re here for the love, the loot and the unlimited hors d’oeuvres. [HOOK – Both, rap/chant] BOTH: Rock that ring, drop that keg, stomp that floor in mithril legs Drums hit hard like falling throne, two hearts carved in living stone Raise that mug, feel that boom, cousins dancing on the groom Dwarven wedding, seal that pact, Sneak Attack on the track, That’s combustion impactfully tactfully fact [Dwarven choir under hook:] “Baruk-az, baruk-az, dor-khaz!” [VERSE 1 – Pip, fast & sharp] PIP: Yo, bride got braids like chainmail lace, face like “say grace or vacate space” Groom rock braids in a beard so long, dominating in the place like a dragons song Priest got a hammer, book in stone, reads that oath in a gravel-tone “’Til death, debt, tax, axe, facts,” whole hall screams “SIGN THAT CONTRACT, GO!” I’m that short-stack spittin’ on a stone-stack stage, When the bass drop hits, I'll collapse your cave Got my feet on the table, my mind in the keg, Everybody two-steppin’ till I bite yall leg Dwarven auntie in the back with the triple-shot ale Yellin’ “IF HE EVER CHEAT, I’LL NAIL THAT MAIL” This love locked tight like a sirens song Whole hall hot like a dragons thong [Mini-Hook – Pip + Choir] PIP: If you feel that love, let the floorboards crack! CHOIR (deep): “Baruk-az, dor-khaz, KHARZ-NAK!” BOTH: Dwarven wedding, Sneak Attack, send a snack! [VERSE 2 – Fattyfoot, slower & heavy] FATTYFOOT: Big flow with the bellyful of sway, I walk the beat like I’m carved that way See the bride’s dad holdin’ up that axe, Signin’ off on love like a notarized fax We got rings on rings, gold on stone We got three whole clans on a chaperoned zone We got great-gran crushin’ kegs like cans, Sayin’ “I did this thrice before your old man’s plans” DJ Hold’en with the rune-cut decks, Spinnin’ dwarven chants, cuttin’ stone by specs That “BARUK-AZ” scratch in the left ear grim, Right ear boom, he him, that’s the anvil hymn You ain’t danced till you leaned in mail, Sweat in your braids and you steam like ale Dwarven love’s like a mountain spine: Takes its time, never ending gold mine [Turntable Break – DJ + Choir] DJ HOLD’EN: AIGHT, NEWLYWEDS, THIS YOUR MATRIMONIAL DROP! [Beat strips to drums + bass. Turntable scratches chop dwarven choir: “Baruk-az… khaz-dûm… dor-khaz… BARUK! BARUK!”] DJ HOLD’EN: THAT’S THE RIGHT ANSWER, LAD. LONG LIFE, LOUD LOVE! [VERSE 3 – Pip & Fattyfoot trading] FATTYFOOT: Got clan on clan in the pit all pressed, Two small halflings still best-dressed We came for the gig, stayed for the feast, Left with a verse and ten pounds at least PIP: May your gold stack high, may your fights stay few, May your in-laws like the sound of you When the beat cuts out and the hall goes dim, Your love’s still loud like the anvil hymn [FINAL HOOK – big] BOTH: Rock that ring, drop that keg, stomp that floor in mithril legs Drums hit hard like falling throne, two hearts carved in living stone Raise that mug, feel that boom, cousins dancing on the groom Dwarven wedding, seal that pact, Sneak Attack on the track, That’s combustion impactfully tactfully fact [Dwarven choir (full):] “Baruk-az, khaz-dûm, dor-khaz baraz-ûr!”