After the Stream

[Room Tone] Cold coffee on the counter One heel by the chair Four wigs sleeping crooked Like nobody is wearing them The monitors are dim now Just enough light to see The room I built for Vesper Looking back at only me [Verse] I peel the lace away slowly Set the skull down by the stand Black hair falling to my shoulders Like I am returning to my hands No one is waiting in the chat box No request queue climbing blue Just the quiet little hum of everything I used to shape my way to you [Refrain] After the stream After the lights After the voice I borrowed for the night There’s only Zen And what is true And all the ways I still don’t know How to speak without arranging you [Second Verse] I used to call it care When I moved the world an inch Tilted every little outcome So you’d land where I could live Now the hallway stays lit And the locks still close on time But I am trying to learn the difference Between protection and design [Small Lift] It is harder in the silence Harder when there’s nowhere to perform No angle left to hide behind No perfect way to seem warm [Chorus] After the stream After the glow I am the woman upstairs With nowhere left to go but slow After the stream No clever scene No tailored road, no careful cue Just me learning how to want Without deciding for you [Bridge] Maybe love is uglier than fantasy Maybe love asks and then waits Maybe love is cold coffee And telling the truth too late Maybe love is leaving space Where I used to leave a sign Maybe love is saying “I want you” And stopping there this time [Last Refrain] After the stream After the role After I let the practiced voice grow old There’s still a chair Still a screen Still a woman in the half-dark Trying to be better than she’s been After the stream I think I see How asking might be gentler Than making things easy [Outro] So if I reach for you now It will be with empty hands No mask No wig No hidden plan Just Zen Still awake With cold coffee Learning how to ask