[Intro] The life of a superhero is a lonely one, filled with hardship and danger. The few who answer the call must leave comfort, safety and often sanity behind. But someone's gotta stand the heat and stay in the kitchen! Someone's gotta don the oven mitts of all that's right and strangle the throat of all that's wrong! This is that someone's story! [Verse] I’m the big blue beefcake of benevolent bashing, a skyscraper‑sized slab of justice crashing. I’m nigh invulnerable, nigh incredible, nigh everything‑nice, I once punched evil so hard it apologized twice. I’m the Tick — the titan, the toaster, the breakfast knight, the buttery guardian of your dry crummy night. I’m faster than trouble, I’m stronger than fear, When justice needs doing, then justice is here! [Pre-Chorus] Come Arthur! We've a City to Save!!! [Chorus] [Heroic punctuation] The TICK! The Big Blue Justice Machine! The TICK! The Defender of the Downtrodden The TICK! The Immovable Object of Morality The TICK! The TICK! [Verse] Chairface Chippendale carving letters in the moon like it’s prime real estate, Miss Lint drifting in with static‑charged menace she can barely regulate. Barry — the Tick — stomping around with a stolen identity claim, and Apocalypse Cow rampaging through downtown like justice is to blame. El Seed preaching botany with a floral army in tow, Mr. Mental trying mind tricks that never quite go. Ottoman Express just made herself an attack chair, villains piling up faster than I can shout “beware!” They scheme, they plot, they try to look slick, but I shut it all down like a big blue brick. Villains tremble when I flex my heroic shtick — justice hits harder when you’re built this thick. [Pre-Chorus] SPOOOON!!!! [Chorus] The TICK! The Sentinel of the City The TICK! The Knight of Not‑Thinking The TICK! The Living Monolith of Justice The TICK! The TICK! [Bridge] Arthur — my moth-man, my winged accountant of fate, the quiet little hero who keeps my chaos straight. He’s the plan, the map, the calm in the storm, the guy who keeps my heroic instincts properly warm. American Maid's got the poise, the precision, the flair, with a tiara and stilettos flying everywhere. She'll leap through a window, then straighten her dress— a hero of action, efficiency, and fabulousness. Die Fledermaus brings the darkness, the gadgets, the cape, and occasionally finds an excellent reason to escape. But when danger gets serious and no where's secure, he'll stand with the team—once he's reasonably sure. Sewer Urchin knows every tunnel beneath every street, every pipe, every passage, every place we can meet. The surface may wrinkle their nose at his style, but down in his kingdom, he's cool by a mile. Arthur keeps me steady when the whole world goes wild, Maid brings the hammer with a perfectly styled smile. Die Fledermaus brings the flair, Urchin knows where to go— and me? I'm the Big Blue guy on patrol [Pre-Chorus] One more time Little Buddy! [Chorus] The TICK! The Hero of Heroes! The TICK! The Juggernaut of Justice! The TICK! The Colossus of Courage The TICK! The TICK! [Outro] So perhaps my work here is done! Perhaps it's time that I moved on to a place where there's.. Stuff to do… Ah! Well, Destiny honks the horn of "Gotta Go". To The City! Oh, City, my City! I shall spread my buttery justice over all your nooks and crannies! Who is that blue stranger? He is… …The Tick! The TICK!
