GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME

GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME Written by Brian Ketchum [Intro - Very Short Bluegrass Kickoff] [Verse 1] Well, I woke up late on my wedding day, With my boots beside the bed. My best man beat on the bedroom door, Said, “Boy, she’ll have your head!” I grabbed my coat, forgot my tie, Put my left boot on my right. Jumped in that truck and hollered, “Lord, get me to the church on time!” [Chorus] Get me to the church on time, Get me to the church on time. I can lose my hat, I can lose my mind, Just get me to the church on time. She can forgive most anything, But I ain’t testing her tonight. Lord, whatever else You do, Get me to the church on time! [Short Mandolin Turnaround] [Verse 2] Well, the pickup popped, the tailpipe dropped, The radiator hissed. A rooster rode the running board— Don’t ask me how he did. A muddy mutt named Murphy Made a mighty mess inside, And the rooster pecked poor Murphy While poor Murphy tried to drive! The sheriff shouted, “Slow it down!” I shouted, “Sir, I might!” He saw the suit, he saw the ring, Said, “Son… you’d better fly!” [Short Fiddle-Banjo Turnaround] [Verse 3 - Faster] Past Patty’s patch and Patterson’s, Past Pete’s produce and pies, Past Billy Bob’s blue barbecue Where Bobby burned the fries. Past Ricky’s rusty wrecking yard, Past Randy’s rental rigs, Past six slick sheep on Sycamore Street And seven slippery pigs. A pig picked up my pocket square, A sheep took off with my tie, The rooster stole the wedding ring— So naturally… I cried. [Band Stop] [Verse 4 - Rapid Fire] Murphy chased the rooster, And the rooster chased the sheep, And the sheep chased seven slippery pigs Straight through McCreary Creek. Billy brought a buggy, Bobby brought a borrowed bike, Betty brought a butter churn— I said, “THAT WON’T GET ME THERE TONIGHT!” Billy’s buggy bumped the bike, The bike bumped Betty’s churn, Betty’s butter battered Bobby, Bobby hollered, “BRIAN, TURN!” I turned the truck, the truck turned loose, The rooster took to flight. The sheriff shouted, “WHERE YOU GOING?” I yelled, “TO GET MARRIED IF I SURVIVE!” [Very Short Mandolin-Banjo-Fiddle Break] [Bridge - Half Time] Then I saw that little white church Sitting underneath the pines. And there she stood, Hands on her hips, Looking at the time. I stepped out wearing one wet shoe, No hat, no ring, no tie. She looked me up. She looked me down. Said, “Got anything to say?” [Band Stop] I said… “Hi.” [Final Chorus] Get me to the church on time, I almost made it there alive. Lost my hat, my shoe, my ring, And most of my peace of mind. But she took my hand and kissed my cheek, Said, “Boy, you’ll pay for this tonight.” Then the preacher cleared his throat and said, “Folks… the wedding was at five.” [Band Stop] I said, “What time is it?” [Single Mandolin Chop] She said… “Six.” [Hard Stop]