Journal Entry Three.. 3:33 A.M. Here we are again… Another page. Another night. Another conversation with the version of me nobody else gets to meet. The whole world’s asleep. The room is quiet. The house is quiet. So why… is everything so loud? Dear journal… I don’t know if I’m healing… or if I’m just surviving long enough to see another sunrise. Every day feels like I’m carrying a backpack full of yesterday. Every memory keeps knocking like nobody ever told it the door was already closed. Some nights my thoughts echo so loud… I can’t even hear my own heartbeat. Tell me… Am I standing at the end of something… or the beginning of someone I haven’t met yet? Because honestly… they both feel the same when you’re standing in the middle. Everything is so loud… I just wanna breathe. Can somebody tell me I’m more than what my mind believes? Everything is so loud… Somewhere underneath… I know there’s still a little light looking for me. Why am I fighting so hard just to save myself? Everything’s so loud… I can’t even see myself. How’s anybody else supposed to see everything that’s breaking inside of me… when I keep pretending nothing’s wrong? Some days I wear a smile like borrowed clothes. It fits… just enough for nobody to ask questions. My heart keeps trying to finish a puzzle… while my mind keeps hiding the last piece. Maybe I’m not lost. Maybe I’m just walking through a version of myself I’ve never had to become before. Maybe… this isn’t the end. Maybe… this isn’t the beginning. Maybe… this is the hallway between both. The place where old versions of ourselves learn how to let go… before new ones learn how to breathe. Everything is so loud… But I’m still breathing. Everything is so loud… But I’m still writing. Every page… Every scar… Every sunrise… Feels like another piece finding its place. Maybe tomorrow won’t sound like today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll remember… peace still knows my name. If you’re awake… reading this… writing this… living this… I hope you know… you don’t have to have all the answers… to keep turning the page. … I’m okay. I’m Kay. I’m always okay… even when I’m not. Don’t worry about me. Love, Kay
