How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter does it just gotta rise up above it tuck it back down in that bottle stuff it so they dont have to discuss it on top of already feeling busted, gotta walk in that room like the floor ain’t shiftin’ like the white coats ain’t whisperin’ codes in the distance like the light in the film ain’t got one dark smudge in it growin’ roots through my vision, gotta look at her calm while my insides riot and twist like a pack got loose in the kitchen, guts on the tile, heart in the sink, lungs fulla smoke but i tell her just breathe, it’s cool, we gon’ handle whatever they think, whole time every clock in the hall sound loud as a blick, click-click, each second got teeth, each minute take bites, and i’m tryna stay solid while the moon pullin’ tides through the whites of my eyes, ’cause she look at me lookin’ for land in the storm and i can’t let her see i’m just driftwood dressed like a shoreline, can’t let her know every word from that doc turn bricks in my windpipe, can’t let her know i been bargainin’ quiet with God like take all my good days, my sleep, my pride, take the wins i ain’t won yet, take the whole damn sky, just leave that little light in her laugh switched on, don’t let no cold lil’ shadow come claim what’s mine, but i don’t say mine like property, nah, i mean mine like the only warm window on a block fulla boarded-up nights, mine like home when the rent too high, mine like mercy when the judge walk in, mine like the reason i ain’t let every bad thought spin back round with a mask and a stolen plate, mine like she know where the cracks in my armor live and still lay her head there like it’s safe, so i gotta make it safe, gotta turn these two hands into walls, turn my chest into concrete, turn my fear into bass in the trunk so it shake but don’t speak, turn the panic to pavement and walk on it clean, even when my knees wanna fold like loose-leaf, even when that word they won’t say hang low in the room like a blade on a string, even when every maybe sound mean, maybe it’s nothin’, maybe it’s early, maybe we caught it, maybe don’t worry, maybe got a mouth fulla razors to me, but i nod like maybe ain’t murderin’ sleep, then we leave and the city still movin’, bus brakes screech, corner store glow, somebody laughin’ too hard by the pumps... bus brakes screech, corner store glow, somebody laughin’ too hard by the pumps... bus brakes screech, corner store glow, somebody laughin’ too hard by the pumps... bus brakes screech, corner store glow, somebody laughin’ too hard by the pumps like the world ain’t just pause in my skull, like the ground ain’t open its jaw and swallow the future i drew, little house, cheap wine, her feet in my lap, two plates by the sink, all them regular annoyances people don’t value till somebody in scrubs start pointin’ at ghosts in a picture and speakin’ real careful and slow, then every dumb little moment turn gold, every fight over nothin’ feel like comedy, every hoodie she stole from me smell like a place i would crawl through hell just to get to, and i’m mad, yeah fucking pissed mad at the ceiling, mad at the blood, mad at the code in peoples bodies that i guess gets fuckin bored and starts writin’ its own crooked language, mad at myself ’cause i can’t punch weather, can’t stomp out a shadow, can’t put hands on a question, can’t drill through the dark and demand that it answer, so the rage got nowhere to go but inward, teeth on my organs, claws in my ribs, i’m carryin’ knives with no handles, every way that i grip get me cut, but she ask how i’m holdin’ and i grin like a liar in church, say baby i’m good, don’t worry ’bout me, i’m built for the flood, while my guts spell help on the floor in a language only i can read, mop it up with my sleeve ’fore she see, tuck every ugly thought back deep in the bottle, screw that cap till the glass start screamin’, put it high on the shelf with the grief and the old me, tell ’em both stay quiet, she need me, she don’t need another storm in the room tryna compete with the storm in her bloodstream, she need a rock, so i study the rocks, how they stand where the dark waves slap, how they lose little pieces each night but never announce what the ocean took back, how they let every crash break loud on their spine then sit there at dawn like come run it again, just lettin’ the whole sea swing and still givin’ her somewhere to stand, maybe i ain’t gotta overcome every wave, maybe i just gotta be there when it lands, hold her hand while the horizon goes crooked, maybe try to hold my face steady when hers can’t, hold hope like contraband under my tongue, don’t flash it too much but don’t let ’em take it, and if the night get wicked let the whole damn ocean fall out my eyes, let the guts hit tile, let the bottle crack, its ok to be human let it spill every now and then leave some breadcrumbs to make it back, pull it together maybe rinse my face, fix my jaw, walk back in quiet and relaxed, lay beside her gentle, and be the land again..... and just be still...... How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter... How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter... How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter... How do i feel about it? How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter does it just gotta rise up above it tuck it back down in that bottle stuff it so they dont have to discuss it on top of already feeling busted, gotta walk in that room like the floor ain’t shiftin’ like the white coats ain’t whisperin’ codes in the distance like the light in the film ain’t got one dark smudge in it growin’ roots through my vision, gotta look at her calm while my insides riot and twist like a pack got loose in the kitchen, guts on the tile, heart in the sink, lungs fulla smoke but i tell her just breathe, it’s cool, we gon’ handle whatever they think, whole time every clock in the hall sound loud as a blick, click-click click-click click-click click-click click-click click-click click-click click-click, each second got teeth, each minute take bites, and i’m tryna stay solid while the moon pullin’ tides through the whites of my eyes..... How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter... How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter... How do i feel about it? i guess it dont really matter...
