[Verse 1] I’m the wicked old witch, yeah, that’s what they say, I cast a few spells at the end of the day, I stir up my cauldron, I give it a switch, Oh yes, I’m a terrible, horrible witch. I talk to the animals, they talk back to me, The cat knows my secrets, the dog knows I’m mean, I fly through the darkness beneath moonlight bright, I’m absolutely wicked… well, most of the night. [Pre-Chorus] They say, “Do you worship the devil?” I say, “No, what a silly thing to say!” I’ve got enough trouble managing my own life, I don’t need Satan getting in the way! 😂 [Chorus] I’m the wicked old witch, I’m bad to the bone, I fly on my broomstick wherever I roam, I cackle at midnight, I give people fright, Then park up my Ford underneath the streetlight! I’m the wicked old witch, just look at me go, I’m scary as hell… well, apparently so, I ride through the night on my broom with a roar, Then put it in reverse… ‘Cause I’ve got a Ford! [Verse 2] I’ve got black cats, candles and potions galore, A crystal ball sitting right by the door, I wear pointy hats and I dress up in black, But if someone brings biscuits… I’ll happily chat. I can summon the spirits, I can make candles glow, I can turn a full moon into one hell of a show, I’m dangerous, wicked, a menace at night, But if there’s a spider… I’ll scream with fright! [Pre-Chorus] They say, “You’re evil, you’re wicked, you’re bad!” I say, “Well… compared to who? That’s a bit sad.” I don’t worship demons, I don’t sacrifice goats, I just make Halloween songs And buy far too many coats! [Chorus] I’m the wicked old witch, I’m bad to the bone, I fly on my broomstick wherever I roam, I cackle at midnight, I give people fright, Then drive my Ford home by the morning light! I’m the wicked old witch, with a spell up my sleeve, I’m frighteningly wicked… or so I believe, I ride on my broomstick, I’m queen of the night, Then turn on the headlights… ‘Cause petrol’s alright! [Bridge – cheeky / spoken-sung] Witch on a broom? Obviously. Talking to animals? Absolutely. Casting spells? Now and then. Worshipping the devil? No thanks, I’ve met enough weird men. 😂 Crystal ball? Yep. Black cat? Yep. Pointy hat? Obviously. Ford? Bloody right. [Final Chorus] I’m the wicked old witch, the baddest around, You’ll hear my cackle from miles underground, I fly through the darkness, I’m scary and rich— Well… rich in Halloween decorations, ‘Cause I’m a wicked old witch! I’m the wicked old witch, so don’t knock my door, Unless you’ve got chocolate… Then bring some more! I’ll ride on my broomstick beneath the moon’s glow, Then jump in my Ford and… OFF I GO! [Outro] I’m wicked… I’m wild… I’m frighteningly mean… Well… Apart from the animals. They’re my friends. And the devil? He can find someone else
