[Verse 1 – intimate piano, gently sung, fragile emotion] I wake up with two thoughts, and they both sound like me, One tells me I'm worth it, one says I'll never be. They don't take turns, they don't wait in line, They're screaming over each other at the very same time. One minute I love myself, the next I hate my reflection, One minute I'm motivated, the next I'm buried in depression. One minute I'm proud of the man that I've become, The next I'm so ashamed of everything I've done. One minute I'm smiling from cheek to cheek, The next I'm crying so hard that I can barely breathe. One minute I feel strong enough to carry it all, The next my legs give out, and I watch myself fall. [Pre-Chorus – rising melody, desperate pleading, voice trembling] One minute I'm talented, I've got something to give, The next I feel like I'm worthless, The next, I've got nothing to live for. How the fuck could you say that? Did you forget about your kid, or? What kind of father could think about leaving his kid behind? But these feelings aren't logical, they don't rationalize, One minute I wanna die, the next I wanna live, And sometimes they're both there — how the fuck does that exist? [Chorus – soaring emotional singing, gentle strings swelling] Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth I go, One minute there's a future, the next there's no hope. I'm flying through the sky, then I'm chained to the ground, Guess that's one way you could say I'm grounded now. I wanna love myself, I wanna learn to forgive, I know I've got reasons, I know I've got a life to live. But every time I find a little happiness, it slips. Tell me, when will I stop feeling like this? [Verse 2 – tender piano, intimate heartfelt singing] It used to feel like both sides got their time, A little bit of darkness, then a little sunshine. But lately something's shifting, and the balance isn't right, The good comes for a moment, while the bad stays overnight. When I love myself, the feeling doesn't last long, But when I hate myself, it feels like where I belong. I remember all the hurt, everything I put you through, And every time I almost forgive myself, I remember something new. It's like a backpack full of everything I can't undo, And somehow I made you carry some of that weight too. Now we've both got straps digging into our shoulders, Will the weight ever get lighter as we're getting older? [Chorus – powerful aching vocals, sweeping strings] Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth I go, One minute there's a future, the next there's no hope. I'm flying through the sky, then I'm chained to the ground, Guess that's one way you could say I'm grounded now. I wanna love myself, I wanna learn to forgive, I know I've got reasons, I know I've got a life to live. But every time I find a little happiness, it slips. Tell me, when will I stop feeling like this? [Verse 3 – fragile, almost tearful singing, sparse piano and cello] I can't even escape it when I finally fall asleep, 'Cause everything I'm running from is waiting in my dreams. But I can't call them dreams when they're nightmares every night, The only time it's beautiful is when I find you by my side. You're always sweet to me, so kind and understanding, For a moment there's no fear, and I can feel you standing Right beside me, like I've got another chance with you, Then I ruin everything, and jolt myself awake. I lie there in the darkness thinking, I'd never do that to you, Then remember all the pain I already put you through. Even in my sleep, I can't give my mind a rest, I'm so fucking tired of this weight inside my chest. [Bridge – bare piano, trembling voice, emotionally breaking] Sometimes I wanna hibernate, just disappear from time, Or fall into a temporary coma, leave it all behind. Not have to face another sleepless night till morning, Fighting with my mind, every feeling trapped in fuckin' side. But even there I'd probably find you waiting in a dream, And even there I'll probably fucking ruin everything. I don't wanna feel everything, I don't wanna feel nothing. I just wanna have one moment Where I'm not fighting something. [Final Chorus – soaring, devastatingly emotional, full orchestral swell] Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth I go, I'm exhausted from emotions that I cannot control. One minute I feel loved, the next I'm unlovable, One minute I'm enough, the next I'm nothing at all. How can two contradictions always exist inside my mind? How can I be flying and falling at the same time? [Outro – strings fade, soft piano, fragile sustained singing] When will I stop feeling like this? Will I ever stop feeling like this? Think I'm always gonna feel like this... [Silence] I guess opposites really do attract.
