The Contest (Remastered)

​(Verse 1) They've got a flyer down at the coffee shop A contest for the spitting image, from the bottom to the top A grand prize of a thousand bucks and bragging rights for life To be the best impersonator of me, my own living strife ​(Chorus) They want to see who looks most like me, the irony's a blast I'm here to prove I'm the real deal, a winner built to last I'll stand among the hopefuls, with my own face as my guide And when they call the finalists, I'll have nowhere to hide ​(Verse 2) The room is full of me's, a fun house mirror scene One's got my bad haircut, another's got my awkward lean I see a guy who's perfected my nervous laugh, my tell-tale shrug It's an out-of-body experience, a mental, cosmic drug ​(Chorus) They want to see who looks most like me, the irony's a blast I'm here to prove I'm the real deal, a winner built to last I'll stand among the hopefuls, with my own face as my guide And when they call the finalists, I'll have nowhere to hide ​(Bridge) The judges are confused, they're whispering, they're scratching their heads "He's good, but something's off," is what I overhear them say, or dread They can't quite put their finger on the uncanny, perfect flaw That I'm the actual person, breaking every single law ​(Chorus) They want to see who looks most like me, the irony's a blast I'm here to prove I'm the real deal, a winner built to last I'll stand among the hopefuls, with my own face as my guide And when they call the finalists, I'll have nowhere to hide ​(Outro) I'll win this contest, take the money, and the cheap plastic trophy, too Then I'll reveal my secret, and tell them all, "Surprise, it's true!" I'm the original, the prototype, the one they all aspire to be I came to win my own lookalike contest, just for a little glee.