Houston, we have a problem!

"Welcome to Mars. Please wipe your boots." Seven months in a tin can, eating paste and dried-out beans We landed in the dust with our shiny new machines Commander Dirk stepped out, ready for a giant leap But a robot in a tuxedo was vacuuming the steep He said, "You’re blocking the driveway, your permit’s out of date And honestly, that rocket ship is so... two-thousand-and-eight." Oh, Houston, we have a problem! The Martians have a fiber-optic glow Houston, we have a problem! They’re a billion years ahead of what we know Everything is chrome, everything is sleek And our lunar rover looks like a rusty antique! I tried to plant the flag, but a drone began to beep "Sir, that’s a designated area for the cyber-sheep!" They don’t have wars or hunger, they don’t have any pride They just spend their days on hover-boards on a digital slide The Mayor is a toaster with a very high IQ He looked at our radio and said, "Is that a kazoo?" "Houston, they just offered us... organic soy lattes? Over." "Would you like to upgrade to 12G? Your signal is embarrassing." We showed them our technology, our tablets and our gear The robots started laughing 'til they leaked a hydraulic tear "It’s cute," they said, "it’s vintage! Like a steam-powered toy!" While they folded space and time just for some extra soy We’re the cavemen of the galaxy, the monkeys in the suit And the Martians think our spacesuits are actually quite cute. Oh, Houston, we have a problem! The Martians have a fiber-optic glow Houston, we have a problem! They’re a billion years ahead of what we know Everything is chrome, everything is sleek And our lunar rover looks like a rusty antique! "Hey Houston? Forget the samples..." "Can you just send some WD-40? They say I’m squeaking."