King's Royal Pint (The Quest for Shmendric)

[Intro] (Upbeat electro swing brass riff, swinging drums, clinking beer glasses) [Verse 1] In cozy Kiluu, sitting warm and tight, Full belly, cold ale, everything feels right! No smelly pub, no elf-salad brew, A golden pint is always waiting for you! I drink Orc-beer like water, never hitting the floor, Kiluu’s finest pint always leaves you wanting more! My magic amulet keeps the buzz real high, I’ll drink you under the table as the hours go by! [Verse 2] Shut your mouth, Shmendric! Don’t make me laugh, Dwarf beer is thicker, stronger by half! By my ancestors’ beard, what’s that in your head? The King demands Dwarf brew, or you’re better off dead! Gorkonsfest is coming, the mugs are in row, I challenge you right now to a real tavern show! Hobbit pride against Dwarf pride, show what you can, Before you dance for the King like a trembling man! [Pre-Chorus] Honor is the game we’re playing tonight! Only the finest brew will make it right! Five items packed, the journey takes flight! [Chorus] Gold Quest! Fetch the beer for the King! Through caves and valleys, hear the brass horns ring! A masterly drink for the throne and the crown, Hobbit and Dwarf – who’ll take the win in this town? Raise your glasses high, let the swing swing loud!