[Intro: palm muted drop tuned riff, big drum fill] Saturday, the cafe's packed, there's one spot left on the street One car, one curb, one man, and a crowd in every seat [Verse 1] Sun on the sidewalk tables and the brunch crowd shoulder to shoulder One spot open like a miracle and I've never felt bolder Got a Mini on the front and on the back a delivery van I flick the blinker like a surgeon and I tell myself I can I can merge onto the freeway in a thunderstorm at night I can squeeze between two buses with an inch on either side I can back a rental truck into a loading dock with one hand But this curb is out here starting something I don't understand First try I'm in the bike lane and a cyclist calls me names Second try I kiss the curb, third try I'm in two lanes Cabbies honking out a chorus like a marching band in pain A waiter sets his tray down and he walks out to the street Says your angle's wrong, my man, and he's tapping with his feet [Hook: shouted, guitars slam] Fourteen point turn (back it up) Whole cafe watching (back it up) Fourteen point turn (back it up) Cut the wheel, cut the wheel, cut the wheel, I'm stuck Concrete laughing and the mirrors don't lie I'm parking this car if it takes till July [Verse 2] Try number five and there's a toddler in a high chair shaking his head Six and an old man takes his watch off and he times me instead Seven and a busker on the corner plays a funeral on his sax Eight and there's a table betting croissants on my tracks My girlfriend's on the phone with her sister in the passenger seat Calling it like football and the sister's cheering on repeat I'm a grown man with a steering wheel and nothing but rage And a curb that's taller than my nephew and it's laughing at my age I tap the Mini's bumper and I tell the street that's a kiss Not a crime, not a crash, just a little reminder that I exist Who painted these lines, who measured this road Who built a city where a car has to fold [Double-Time Switch: stacked, no commas] Reverse and I crank it and I check in the mirror and the mirror is a liar and the van is in the back Forward and I straighten and the waiter with a menu is conducting like a maestro and the busker's on attack Toddler in the high chair giving thumbs down like a judge and the old man yelling numbers like he's calling out a track Cabbies on the horn and my girlfriend on the phone and every croissant on the table is a bet against my back [Hook: shouted, guitars slam] Fourteen point turn (back it up) Whole cafe watching (back it up) Fourteen point turn (back it up) Cut the wheel, cut the wheel, cut the wheel, I'm stuck [Chopper Burst: triplet bounce, flow switch] Back it in and tap it then I cut it to the left and then I creep it to the right and then I kick it into park like a dart Thirteen was a tragedy and twelve was a comedy and eleven was a felony and ten was a terrible work of modern art Fourteen and I feather it and baby it and center it and settle it and suddenly the tires and the curb are a heartbeat apart Whole cafe exploding and the waiter throwing napkins and the toddler going crazy and the busker blowing victory right off the chart [Breakdown: half time, riff and toms only] Cut the wheel (cut it) Cut the wheel (cut it) Six inches from the curb I'm a legend on this block [Verse 3] I step out like a champion and I take a little bow Old man clicks his watch and says nineteen minutes, wow Then I see the sign above me and my stomach hits the floor No parking Saturday, tow away, eight till four And there's a tow truck at the corner and the driver's clapping too Then he backs his flatbed in one move like it's nothing new Hooks my car up gentle like he's lifting up a child And the whole cafe stands up for him and the toddler's going wild [Final Hook: shouted, guitars slam] Fourteen point turn (back it up) Whole cafe watching (back it up) Fourteen point turn (back it up) One point turn for the tow truck (what the hell) Concrete laughing and the mirrors don't lie I'm taking the bus till the end of July [Outro: riff rings out, feedback] Fifteen if you count the one where I just walked away
