History. Jokers

stand up Comedy at gunpoint! No music whatsoever! ba doom tis at the end of every punchline! canned laughter prompts followed to a degree never seen before! the audience is clearly uncomfortable at first, then gradually warm up and genuinely laugh out loud, see the absurdity of it, Rough deep smoker's female vocals, husky, Smoky and ancient, ‑breath, ‑breathing

V5.5

So.
The Nazca lines.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe the laugh of someone who has been waiting to talk about this hehehehe]Peru.High desert plateau.Someone took a rock.And scraped away the dark surface.To reveal the lighter ground beneath.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. simple. heh.]
[CROWD: heh heh. okay. art project. heh.]
For five hundred years!!! I Know! Sounds propositionous! Apparently they had so much time in their hands being unadvanced! Plow the fields? No! Harvest the crops. NO!Why? Busy! Doing what!?! Making Giant pictures we can't see. Oh. Well...if that's the case....Carry on!!! 
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA FIVE HUNDRED YEARS HAHAHAHA OF SCRAPING HAHAHAHA]
[CROWD: HA HA okay that's commitment HA HA]Drew a hummingbird.
For some reason A condor.Not sure whyA spider.
Emojis are hieroglyphics!A monkey with a spiraling tail.
Mmmm interesting!A humanoid figure with enormous eyes.Waving.Very TELLING!
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe WAVING hehehehe]
[CROWD: ha ha. wait. waving? ha ha.]At a scale.
That you cannot perceive from the ground.
Cannot.Physically impossible.
Unthinkable, unreasonable, illogical, waste of time and effort!. Unless of course...it wasn't...
You are standing inside the drawing.
You cannot see the drawing.
You built it for someone else!
[CROWD: HA HA wait HA HA WHY HAHAHAHA]
The only way to see it.The ONLY way to appreciate what was built.
Is from the air.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. landing different now. heh.]
[CROWD: ha. just ha. one person stopped laughing.]
And the people who built it.Had no aircraft.
No hope of flight anytime so. Supposedly they were squatting in a bush shoving berries up their nose! 
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehe the hehe of someone letting that sit hehehe]
[CROWD: ha... ha... doing the math. ha.]
So they built something.Perfect in proportion.Geometrically precise.
Hydraulically engineered to survive two thousand years of weather.That they could never.
Not once.In their entire civilization.See.
Just for fun, just for the hell of it! Hahahah. 
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA THEY NEVER SAW IT HAHAHAHA NOT ONCE HAHAHAHA]
[CROWD: HAHAHA the uncomfortable laugh HAHAHA the laugh of people who build things for reasons they can't explain HAHAHA]Now.The pyramid.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe shifting gears hehehehe]Giza.
Oh there are a lot more pyramids they don't mention on purpose! Let's focus on this one."The great one."
Built with tolerances of two tenths of a degree of true north.
Modern GPS precision.In two thousand five hundred BC.Believe it not....the structure stands...so...
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. the engineering heh. heh.]
[CROWD: ha. nodding slowly. ha.]And inside.Lining the kings chamber.The grand gallery.The subterranean passages.Mica.Not structural...not even that pretty to look at. Flaky can be chipped away at easily.[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehe here we go hehehe]
[CROWD: ha? mica? what's mica? ha.]Mica is a mineral.Found naturally.In Brazil.And India.Many places 
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. pointed. heh.]Not Egypt.They had to import it.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA NOT EGYPT HAHAHAHA NOT REMOTELY NEAR EGYPT HAHAHAHA]
[CROWD: HAHAHA wait HAHAHA how did it get there HAHAHA]
Mica is also.A perfect electrical insulator.And radiation shield.Used TODAY.
In electronics.In particle accelerators.
In spacecraft. So naturally people with no of those things needed Mica. Clearly! 
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe the hehe of watching the room arrive at the destination hehehehe]
[CROWD: ha... ha... the smile shifting into something else entirely]
Someone.In two thousand five hundred BC.
Sourced a rare electrical insulating mineral.From three thousand miles away.
And lined the inside of a precision engineered structure.Aligned to true north.With it.
Just for the fuck of it! Because someone thought it looked pretty! It doesn't....
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. very quiet. heh.]
[CROWD: silence. the full stop kind.]Now.Official explanation.Decorative purposes.Fucking nonsense. 
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHAHAHA DECORATIVE HAHAHAHAHAHA]
[CROWD: HAHAHAHA DECORATIVE HAHAHAHA THE MICA WAS DECORATIVE HAHAHAHA]
Decorative. Snicker.The radiation shielding mineral.Shipped three thousand miles.
At enormous logistical cost.For decoration.That doesn't look good.In a room nobody lived in.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA SURE HAHAHAHA TOTALLY DECORATIVE HAHAHAHA LIKE THE NAZCA LINES WERE JUST DOODLES HAHAHAHA]
So.A back tattoo.On the Earth itself.Addressed to something looking down.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehe warm now hehehe delighted hehehe]And a power station.Lined in aerospace grade insulation.Built by people who officially.Had no concept of electricity.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. the quiet certain heh. heh.]
[CROWD: ha. just ha. the ha of people reassembling their entire understanding of history in real time.]Here is the question.
Not who built it.Not how.
[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe the wizard knows the real question hehehehe]
Who told them to stop?!
What happened to history?

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So. The Nazca lines. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe the laugh of someone who has been waiting to talk about this hehehehe]Peru.High desert plateau.Someone took a rock.And scraped away the dark surface.To reveal the lighter ground beneath. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. simple. heh.] [CROWD: heh heh. okay. art project. heh.] For five hundred years!!! I Know! Sounds propositionous! Apparently they had so much time in their hands being unadvanced! Plow the fields? No! Harvest the crops. NO!Why? Busy! Doing what!?! Making Giant pictures we can't see. Oh. Well...if that's the case....Carry on!!! [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA FIVE HUNDRED YEARS HAHAHAHA OF SCRAPING HAHAHAHA] [CROWD: HA HA okay that's commitment HA HA]Drew a hummingbird. For some reason A condor.Not sure whyA spider. Emojis are hieroglyphics!A monkey with a spiraling tail. Mmmm interesting!A humanoid figure with enormous eyes.Waving.Very TELLING! [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe WAVING hehehehe] [CROWD: ha ha. wait. waving? ha ha.]At a scale. That you cannot perceive from the ground. Cannot.Physically impossible. Unthinkable, unreasonable, illogical, waste of time and effort!. Unless of course...it wasn't... You are standing inside the drawing. You cannot see the drawing. You built it for someone else! [CROWD: HA HA wait HA HA WHY HAHAHAHA] The only way to see it.The ONLY way to appreciate what was built. Is from the air. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. landing different now. heh.] [CROWD: ha. just ha. one person stopped laughing.] And the people who built it.Had no aircraft. No hope of flight anytime so. Supposedly they were squatting in a bush shoving berries up their nose! [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehe the hehe of someone letting that sit hehehe] [CROWD: ha... ha... doing the math. ha.] So they built something.Perfect in proportion.Geometrically precise. Hydraulically engineered to survive two thousand years of weather.That they could never. Not once.In their entire civilization.See. Just for fun, just for the hell of it! Hahahah. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA THEY NEVER SAW IT HAHAHAHA NOT ONCE HAHAHAHA] [CROWD: HAHAHA the uncomfortable laugh HAHAHA the laugh of people who build things for reasons they can't explain HAHAHA]Now.The pyramid. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe shifting gears hehehehe]Giza. Oh there are a lot more pyramids they don't mention on purpose! Let's focus on this one."The great one." Built with tolerances of two tenths of a degree of true north. Modern GPS precision.In two thousand five hundred BC.Believe it not....the structure stands...so... [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. the engineering heh. heh.] [CROWD: ha. nodding slowly. ha.]And inside.Lining the kings chamber.The grand gallery.The subterranean passages.Mica.Not structural...not even that pretty to look at. Flaky can be chipped away at easily.[MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehe here we go hehehe] [CROWD: ha? mica? what's mica? ha.]Mica is a mineral.Found naturally.In Brazil.And India.Many places [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. pointed. heh.]Not Egypt.They had to import it. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA NOT EGYPT HAHAHAHA NOT REMOTELY NEAR EGYPT HAHAHAHA] [CROWD: HAHAHA wait HAHAHA how did it get there HAHAHA] Mica is also.A perfect electrical insulator.And radiation shield.Used TODAY. In electronics.In particle accelerators. In spacecraft. So naturally people with no of those things needed Mica. Clearly! [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe the hehe of watching the room arrive at the destination hehehehe] [CROWD: ha... ha... the smile shifting into something else entirely] Someone.In two thousand five hundred BC. Sourced a rare electrical insulating mineral.From three thousand miles away. And lined the inside of a precision engineered structure.Aligned to true north.With it. Just for the fuck of it! Because someone thought it looked pretty! It doesn't.... [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. very quiet. heh.] [CROWD: silence. the full stop kind.]Now.Official explanation.Decorative purposes.Fucking nonsense. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHAHAHA DECORATIVE HAHAHAHAHAHA] [CROWD: HAHAHAHA DECORATIVE HAHAHAHA THE MICA WAS DECORATIVE HAHAHAHA] Decorative. Snicker.The radiation shielding mineral.Shipped three thousand miles. At enormous logistical cost.For decoration.That doesn't look good.In a room nobody lived in. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: HAHAHAHA SURE HAHAHAHA TOTALLY DECORATIVE HAHAHAHA LIKE THE NAZCA LINES WERE JUST DOODLES HAHAHAHA] So.A back tattoo.On the Earth itself.Addressed to something looking down. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehe warm now hehehe delighted hehehe]And a power station.Lined in aerospace grade insulation.Built by people who officially.Had no concept of electricity. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: heh. the quiet certain heh. heh.] [CROWD: ha. just ha. the ha of people reassembling their entire understanding of history in real time.]Here is the question. Not who built it.Not how. [MAD WIZARD LAUGH: hehehehe the wizard knows the real question hehehehe] Who told them to stop?! What happened to history?

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