[Intro – hyped, glitchy voice with cartoon SFX] Yo! Hit the button, now I’m gone! Zzzzt — BOOM [Verse 1 – rapid-fire, chaotic energy] Woke up in 2077, head spinning like a glitch, My time machine broke down, now I’m stuck in this rich bitch, Floating cars zooming, traffic in the sky, Billboards yelling “Subscribe or you die!” AI got my face selling crypto in my sleep, My ex from 2025 is now a hologram freak, They eat air for dinner, call it “Nutri-Mist Supreme,” I asked for a cheeseburger — they looked at me like I’m mean! Hoverboard cops pulled me over, said my drip was vintage crime, Tattooed my whole arm with a QR code just to pay the fine, Neural link in my brain playing ads on repeat, “Buy our new emotions — sadness is obsolete!” [Chorus – huge, anthemic, chant-ready] FUTURE GLITCH! I’m lost in the mix! FUTURE GLITCH! This timeline is sick! Flying cars, robot thots, brain chips in my head, I just wanna go home but the future got me dead! HEY! HEY! What the hell is this? HEY! HEY! Time travel went wrong! Everybody’s half cyborg, singing the same song, I’m from 2025 — and this shit is all wrong! [Verse 2 – wild flow switches + ad-libs] President’s a holographic cat with a diamond chain, Climate change fixed but now it rains champagne, They canceled gravity last week, said it was problematic, Now we all floating, arguing if down is problematic! Met my great-great grandson, he’s 12 and a CEO, Told me I’m a dinosaur, then tried to sell me my own soul, They got dating apps that match you with your clone, I swiped right on myself — now I’m stuck in the friendzone! Government gives out free money but it’s just likes and clout, If your follower count drops you get voted straight out, I tried to warn ‘em ‘bout the past, they said “That’s negative vibes,” Then zapped me with a happy beam — now I’m smiling with dead eyes! [Chorus – bigger, layered chants + chaotic ad-libs] FUTURE GLITCH! I’m lost in the mix! FUTURE GLITCH! This timeline is sick! Flying cars, robot thots, brain chips in my head, I just wanna go home but the future got me dead! HEY! HEY! What the hell is this? HEY! HEY! Time travel went wrong! Everybody’s half cyborg, singing the same song, I’m from 2025 — and this shit is all wrong! [Bridge – theatrical breakdown] They said the future’s bright… But I miss my WiFi that didn’t read my mind… NAH — SCREW THIS! [Final Verse/Outro – maximum chaos] I’m stealing a time scooter, gotta get back to the past, Before they upload my soul to the metaverse at last, Future too wild, too fast, too fake, I just want regular WiFi and a regular steak! But as I hit the button, the AI starts to laugh, Said “You can’t leave now player — welcome to the staff!” Last shout (echoed): Take me back… or nah?
