Allowed To Stay

[Verse] I come home smaller than I left, No wound to show, no proof of theft. I draw my knees up to my chin And call surrender settling in. The city hums outside the door; I take up less. It asks for more. [Pre-Chorus] They write my hours beside my name As if a soul could fit that frame. The page records what I have cost, But leaves no space for what I’ve lost. [Chorus] How much of me must disappear? The walls creep closer every year. I keep on meeting them halfway And pray I’ll be allowed to stay. If I survive but can’t be seen, What does belonging even mean? [Verse] I kept my life in future tense And called postponement common sense. A neighbor murmured, “I’m all right,” Then footsteps measured out the night. I knew the fault line in that tone; It ran through rooms beyond my own. [Pre-Chorus] They never needed bars of steel; We learned to doubt the hurt we feel. The weight I carried in my chest Was not a sin to be confessed. [Chorus 2] How many vanish in plain sight? The work gets done. The screens burn bright. With every body still in place, The absence wears a human face. Our hearts mark time. They don’t keep score. Who is our silence really for? [Interlude] [Verse] I let my aching legs unfold. The light is white. The floor is cold. I knock, then wait without a word, Half hoping that I wasn’t heard. An answer trembles through the stone; For once, my fear is not alone. [Pre-Chorus] My hands are shaking. Rent is due. I lean into the sound of you. [Final-Chorus] Your whisper travels down the hall. We shouldn’t have to live this small. I won’t explain myself away To buy another borrowed day. That’s not the same as being free. Let something bend that isn’t me. [End]