[Cold Open | SnareFro, muttering under his breath:] Man... Six forty-five, I ain't even mad yet, Give it time doe. [Hook | SnareFro, percussive staccato eruption:] What The! What The! Man what, What The! Errybody dumb today, I swear it, What The! What The! What The! Nah for real, What The! My whole day wrecked by somebody else's What The! [Level One: Mild Annoyance | SnareFro, clipped percussive delivery:] Alarm ain't ring cuz my roommate unplugged it, charging his phone in MY outlet, didn't plug it back. Toothpaste cap gone, tube all crumpled up, Milk in the fridge but the carton's empty, still stuck it back. Text my boy "you up?" — he leave me on read for a hour, then hit me back "nah I'm sleep" — bruh you just answered, that's power. Car in front of me doin' twelve in a forty-five zone, Blinker been on since Tuesday, homie, turn it off or turn it, I'm— [Hook | SnareFro, percussive staccato eruption:] What The! What The! Man what, What The! Errybody dumb today, I swear it, What The! What The! What The! Nah for real, What The! My whole day wrecked by somebody else's What The! [Level Two: Actual Rage | SnareFro, sharper percussive delivery:] Get to the job, they moved the meetin' to a meetin' 'bout the meetin', Reply-all forty times sayin' "please remove me," repeatin'. Microwave got fish in it again, whole floor smell like the ocean, Printer jammed on page one of forty, I'm losin' my got-damn mind. Barista call my name for a drink that ain't even mine, I say "that's not it," she say "well it's ready," like that's fine. Self-checkout screamin' bout a bag I ain't even touch, "UNEXPECTED ITEM" — unexpected is you, I ain't did that much. [The Last Straw | SnareFro, dead flat, one line:] Then my dude walk up and say "rough day?" — and smile. [Hook | SnareFro, percussive staccato eruption, angrier:] What The! What The! Man what, What The! Errybody dumb today, I swear it, What The! What The! What The! Nah for real, What The! My whole day wrecked by somebody else's What The! [Level Three: Full Meltdown | SnareFro, unraveling, words fragmenting:] Get home, group chat got forty-seven texts 'bout where to eat, Pick the FIRST spot that got mentioned, that's the spot we alla eat. Neighbor car alarm been screamin' since happy hour let out, Nobody go check it, everybody just walk right on out. Dog off the leash runnin' straight up on me, no apology, Owner yell "he's friendly!" like that's supposed to comfort me. I'm—I can't—it's just—everybody just— (sound cutting out, sputtering) What... The— (silence) [Hook | SnareFro, breathless & exhausted:] What The... What The... Man... What The. Errybody dumb today... ...What The. What The... Nah for real... My whole day wrecked by somebody else's What The. [Outro | SnareFro, resigned whisper:] Tomorrow gotta be better... (it won't be) [Fade to Static.].
