I cannot stop what has been done, Cannot undo, The actions, Which arose from Desperation? Despair? Distress? What were you thinking- In those final minutes? Was your desperation so great, The anguish, So much, That you simply quit? Or had you tried before, Failed, And somehow did not think This real? And then it was real. A terrible reality- For your family - Friends, In an instant your life was gone, Thrown away on a sudden impulse, Perhaps you thought only of escaping the pain, dependence, the hopelessness, that curled around you like the smoke of your last cigarette, Curled around you, like the mist from a frosty morning, freezing out- your second thoughts, your future hopes. Encircling your warmth as you experienced, Your last sunrise, Your last sunset, Your last breath in this mortal world. I — could not stop you, I did not even know you left, And still, and still, I cannot stop the thoughts that envelope me in regret- That bounce inside my head, And clench my heart so tightly, In contrition. If only I had done more, Been kinder, Tried harder, Judged less, Given you the words that you needed to hear, Would they have been strong enough to act as a lifeline? To pull you back from the fringe, the periphery, the point- between here and there? Still- If I had only known… Would my words have made a difference? Would they have been enough, to extricate you, from the brink of the precipice, the bluff? Were your scars so hardened that you were unable to Feel? Or did you feel so deeply, So much, That each feeling was torture to your soul, And the only way out, Was to be done?
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