I love my kids (but Jesus Christ)

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[Intro]
(spoken, with a sigh)

[Verse 1]
Got home from work about half past five
Found the TV remote in the deep fryer
Crayon masterpiece on my brand new truck
And the toilet's clogged with a rubber duck

[Verse 2]
Love these little bastards more than life itself
But they turned my Xbox into a bookshelf
There's spaghetti sauce on the living room ceiling
And I'm running out of walls that need repealing

[Chorus]
I love my kids but Jesus Christ
Could they stop breaking every goddamn thing in sight?
From the furniture to my sanity
They're destroying what's left of me
Yeah, I love my kids, that much is true
But Lord have mercy on this wrecking crew

[Verse 3]
Found my wedding ring in the dog's food bowl
There's a Hot Wheel lodged in the toilet bowl
They colored on the cat with a Sharpie pen
And somehow broke the dryer again

[Verse 4]
Grocery bill's through the roof these days
They eat like wolves but in forty-seven ways
Half of it ends up on the kitchen floor
The other half smeared on the closet door

[Bridge]
(powerful)
Some days I hide out in the garage
Pretend I'm working on the Dodge
But really I'm just sitting there in peace
Before they find me and the chaos don't cease

[Verse 5]
My wallet's empty and my hair's gone gray
They broke three windows just today
But when they're sleeping they look like angels do
Till morning comes and they start breaking shit anew

[Outro]
(soft, resigned)
Yeah, I wouldn't trade 'em for the world
These destructive little boys and girls
But maybe tomorrow they'll break a little less
Or at least clean up their own damn mess

2074/7500

[Intro] (spoken, with a sigh) [Verse 1] Got home from work about half past five Found the TV remote in the deep fryer Crayon masterpiece on my brand new truck And the toilet's clogged with a rubber duck [Verse 2] Love these little bastards more than life itself But they turned my Xbox into a bookshelf There's spaghetti sauce on the living room ceiling And I'm running out of walls that need repealing [Chorus] I love my kids but Jesus Christ Could they stop breaking every goddamn thing in sight? From the furniture to my sanity They're destroying what's left of me Yeah, I love my kids, that much is true But Lord have mercy on this wrecking crew [Verse 3] Found my wedding ring in the dog's food bowl There's a Hot Wheel lodged in the toilet bowl They colored on the cat with a Sharpie pen And somehow broke the dryer again [Verse 4] Grocery bill's through the roof these days They eat like wolves but in forty-seven ways Half of it ends up on the kitchen floor The other half smeared on the closet door [Chorus] I love my kids but Jesus Christ Could they stop breaking every goddamn thing in sight? From the furniture to my sanity They're destroying what's left of me Yeah, I love my kids, that much is true But Lord have mercy on this wrecking crew [Bridge] (powerful) Some days I hide out in the garage Pretend I'm working on the Dodge But really I'm just sitting there in peace Before they find me and the chaos don't cease [Verse 5] My wallet's empty and my hair's gone gray They broke three windows just today But when they're sleeping they look like angels do Till morning comes and they start breaking shit anew [Chorus] I love my kids but Jesus Christ Could they stop breaking every goddamn thing in sight? From the furniture to my sanity They're destroying what's left of me Yeah, I love my kids, that much is true But Lord have mercy on this wrecking crew [Outro] (soft, resigned) Yeah, I wouldn't trade 'em for the world These destructive little boys and girls But maybe tomorrow they'll break a little less Or at least clean up their own damn mess

0/500