If I were God I would close down Heaven Evacuate Hell Pick up the fallen angels And say I’m sorry that you fell Then go to war with all the people Unbelievers and deceivers Take away the crooked prophets From undeserving frauds and receivers Build a kingdom for the poor That would never close its door And make sure they all were happy While the rich man begs for more I’d give the broken people love And let them know they are enough And beat down every asshole That thinks they’re powerful and tough I would shut up the accusers As I lock up the abusers But most of all I’d help the homeless And the addicts and the users Yeah sometimes I’d shout and scream Even come across as mean But I’d start fixing all the evils Based on everything I’ve seen I’d reduce the cost of living And reward the ones still giving From the bottom of the heart Or else just make the world restart Put an end to senseless murder Find a girl and never hurt her Then forever I would study Everything and everybody I would pick up every skill Every talent, every trade As I stay and help the people Fix the broken shit we made I wouldn’t be found in the church Nor sitting high upon a perch Maybe plant a garden just to feed you In the center plant a birch Maybe write a whole new Bible Fill it with humor and with rhyme But with simple fucking language So maybe we get it right this time There wouldn’t be a soul in Heaven Not a sufferer in Hell Because I’d resurrect the dead And even heal them up real well There would not be no goddamn money Of that you sure could bet And there wouldn’t ever be, not ever once A sad and lonely vet There would not be no human trafficking Nor not ever missing kids Those are sure the first two things I hope everybody rids There wouldn’t be no king named Jesus And no prophet named Muhammed No we all would be as equals everybody would be fed I would tear down fake-ass churches Synagogues and mosques Tell them all that we’re downsizing And we must reduce the costs I would turn down praise and worship Asking just to do my job And I’d take away the cancer That is killing grandpa Bob I would end every injustice Even turn a wrong to right Give the world a reason to make peace And end most every fight If I could do all things Then the first thing I would do Is empower all the people So they could do all things too If I were the living God Then you would not guess you’d know That the design of real churches The form and architecture Is for way more than just show It’s to echo frequency As it amplifies the power So it can actually fucking heal you With a supersonic shower People wouldn’t tell you “You need Jesus, better pray” Because that’s fucking rude to tell someone And really not okay There wouldn’t ever be a poster Or a billboard on your trip To threaten you with Hell Or say repent because you slip I’d damn sure never be friends With a pastor nor a priest Because of all the people They seem to know our God the least Nobody would have to tell you Not to live a life of sin Because since I’d close down Heaven No one would ever get back in If someone wanted a family Then you can damn be sure That they absolutely get it Even if it isn’t pure There would never be a sickness That just my word could never cure Cause my word would surely heal you As a never-ending cure Yeah if I were God most high I would not be most high Instead I’d be here with the people Making sure they need not cry If I were the one true God You never more would hurt And you would not go to Hell Just for lifting up your skirt If I were the true God Nobody ever needs to worry Because I’d take away the suffering And write a better story
