[Intro – fast dirty punk riff, driving bass, punchy drums] [Verse 1 – irritated melodic female punk vocal] Alarm didn't go off. Fine. Coffee hit the floor. Fine. Couldn't find my fucking keys, found them hanging in the door. Missed the bus by twenty seconds. Next one's late. Of course it is. Phone is sitting on three percent. Forgot the fucking charger. Fine. Get to work, password expired, reset link doesn't come. Try again. Account gets locked. Excellent. We're having fun. [Pre-Chorus – tension building] It's fine. I'm fine. Nothing here is worth a scene. Just a hundred tiny problems taking turns to fuck with me. [Chorus – aggressive melodic punk vocal] ONE MORE FUCKING THING! GO ON! ADD IT TO THE PILE! I CAN TAKE ANOTHER PROBLEM! I'VE BEEN TAKING THEM ALL FUCKING DAY! ONE MORE FUCKING THING! COME ON! LET'S SEE WHAT BREAKS! I'M STILL HOLDING THIS TOGETHER— [Shout-sung] MORE OR FUCKING LESS! [Fast jagged guitar riff] [Verse 2 – faster snarling vocal] Lunch gets fucking cancelled. Meeting added in its place. Printer eats the only copy. Someone asks me for it twice. Rain starts when I leave the building. Bus drives through a fucking lake. Water straight across my trousers. Fine. Whatever. Great. Get back home. Drop the shopping. Orange rolls beneath the chair. Bag decides the kitchen floor is where its fucking guts belong. Pick it up. Phone starts ringing. Unknown number. Let it die. Try to make some fucking dinner— smoke alarm decides to cry. [Pre-Chorus – increasingly furious] Still fine! Still fucking fine! Look how fucking fine I am! Just need five uninterrupted minutes— apparently that's too much to ask! [Chorus – heavier] ONE MORE FUCKING THING! GO ON! THROW IT AT MY HEAD! MAKE THE WI-FI DROP! BREAK THE ZIP! MAKE THE FUCKING LIGHT BULB DEAD! ONE MORE FUCKING THING! COME ON! I'M HAVING SUCH A LOVELY DAY! JUST KEEP STACKING LITTLE PROBLEMS 'TIL ONE OF THEM GETS IN MY FUCKING WAY! [Instrumental Break – frantic drums, abrasive bass and guitar] [Verse 3 – rapid shout-rap] PLATE SLIPS! CATCH IT! GOOD! ELBOW HITS THE FUCKING CUP! CLEAN THE CUP! KNOCK THE BROOM! BROOM KNOCKS SOMETHING ELSE OVER! PICK THAT UP! LOSE MY PHONE! FIND MY PHONE! IT'S FUCKING DEAD! STUB MY TOE AGAINST THE TABLE! NOW THE TABLE WANTS ME DEAD! Deep breath. Bedroom. Done. I am finished with today. Walk through doorway— sleeve catches on the handle. [Full stop] ... No. [Heavy guitar hit] No, no, no. Not you. Not now. Not after all that shit. [Low growl] Let go of my fucking sleeve. [Breakdown – crushing half-time hardcore riff] IT'S NOT THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE. [Drums build] IT'S EVERYTHING BEFORE THE FUCKING DOOR HANDLE! [Extended Fast Shout-Rap – explosive] YOU DIDN'T SPILL THE COFFEE! YOU DIDN'T MAKE ME MISS THE BUS! YOU DIDN'T LOCK MY FUCKING LOGIN! YOU'RE A HANDLE! THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU DIDN'T BREAK THE PRINTER! YOU DIDN'T SOAK ME IN THE STREET! BUT YOU PICKED THE WRONG FUCKING SECOND TO ATTACH YOURSELF TO ME! SO CONGRATULATIONS, DOOR HANDLE! YOU'RE THE FINAL FUCKING STRAW! EVERY LITTLE PIECE OF BULLSHIT JUST GOT FOCUSED ON YOUR CAUSE! I KNOW THIS ISN'T RATIONAL! I KNOW YOU'RE JUST ATTACHED TO WOOD! [Harsh scream] BUT I'VE BEEN RATIONAL ALL FUCKING DAY— AND LOOK HOW MUCH THAT FUCKING HELPED! [Final Chorus – massive hardcore punk vocal] ONE MORE FUCKING THING! THAT'S IT! THAT WAS THE FUCKING ONE! NOT THE BIGGEST! NOT THE WORST! JUST THE LAST BEFORE I'M DONE! ONE MORE FUCKING THING! I WARNED ABSOLUTELY NO ONE! BUT APPARENTLY THIS FUCKING DOOR HANDLE IS WHERE I DRAW THE FUCKING LINE! [Final frantic riff] [Outro – exhausted raspy melodic vocal] Unhook sleeve. Walk away. Handle's fine. I'm not. [Final hit]
