[Intro: kantele, then guitars crash in] [Spoken, low] Vaka vanha Väinämöinen... kuulkaa. [Verse 1] The halls of Kalev were quiet, and the iron hail had passed The roads were open, the smiths were sleeping, and the lanterns burned at last Then came a storm we never feared, the kind we'd gladly meet Not iron hail from a stranger's sky, but orders at our feet I name the senders gladly now: they are the ones who claim [Pre-Chorus] Wednesday morning the thunder came Every hand with a box to claim [Chorus] Tilausrakeet! Order hail on the highway! Tilausrakeet! Boxes falling from the sky! They filled the roads, and they busied every hall Ei kadonnut Kalevala, the kantele rings on high! [Verse 2] "How do you properly DDoS us?" asked the neighbours at the gate The householder laughed: "Buy all the slots, and put them all to work" The drives are spinning, the servers humming, a little busy Two hundred forty-eight in a day, and the smiths are running dizzy The first hail was no joke to you, and that we won't forget This hail of orders, we'll gladly bear, the best storm we've had yet [Verse 3: hushed, rising] All that morning the joy-stone sounded, and before the day was done Seventeen-fifty, then five thousand monthly; by Thursday, the two-thousandth one [Choir shout] Riemu riemulle! [Chorus] Tilausrakeet! Order hail on the highway! Tilausrakeet! Boxes falling from the sky! They filled the roads, and they busied every hall Ei kadonnut Kalevala, the kantele rings on high! [Verse 4: heavy] Then the orders grew wide and heavy, more than any day before The merchants' drives cost more than ever, and the smith keeps buying more "So the company's DDoS'd too," the householder laughed at the door "Buy the slots, see? Simple as that!" [Bridge: half-time, call and response] How do you properly DDoS Pulsed Media? (Buy the slots!) And then what? (Put them all to work!) How many in a single day? (Two hundred forty-eight!) From how many lands? (More than forty!) Is the company DDoS'd too? (Buying drives!) Is it simple? (Simple as that!) [Verse 5: kantele returns] The old one heated the sauna, and he laughed upon the stones Hail of iron, hail of orders; only one I'd call again And through it all the order bell kept ringing through the night [Spoken] Kuhun ei käteni käyne, käyköhön käet Jumalan. Where my hands could reach, I counted, every claim within my span Where they could not, smiths and keepers, and the householder's own hands [Final Chorus: key change] Tilausrakeet! Order hail on the highway! Tilausrakeet! Boxes falling from the sky! They closed the roads, but they never broke the hall Now they fill the roads, and the kantele rings on high! On the fourteenth, as the morning rose, the hail of orders fell Not a byte was lost to either storm, and the walls stand stronger as well [Outro: kantele, spoken] Seitsemänsataa. Rautarakeet. Riemu riemulle. Tilausrakeet. We are not going anywhere. Kiitos.
