I don’t mind handing out sweets, don’t get me wrong— Take Saint Martin’s Day: Cheerful kids walking down the way, with lanterns, mostly crafted by hand Singing a little tune, that’s not too bad. Well, I can get behind that. 🎃 But getting ambushed at my own front door! Barking “or else!” like they’re settling a score! Extorting candy! Right in my face! Yeah, that’s not really my taste 🎃 I don’t like Halloween— not into it - and never have been When normally nice and cute kids — wearing hideous horror outfits and they are getting so mean Shadowy figures demanding a treat! and if I don’t give them their sweets The only thing I can do then, is desperately pray they don’t throw a fit, ’cause it didn’t go their way She does not like Halloween! Never have! She does not like Halloween! Never will! Shut the door and bolt the sill! 🎃 I like a cozy home, no question about it, I like it warm and neat. But plastic cobwebs and fake dirt spread around it? Carved-out pumpkin faces with a creepy shine Not exactly my idea of good interior design! 🎃 I don’t like Halloween— not into it - and never have been When normally nice and cute kids — wearing hideous horror outfits and they are getting so mean Shadowy figures demanding a treat! and if I don’t give them their sweets The only thing I can do then, is desperately pray they don’t throw a fit, ’cause it didn’t go their way 🎃 If you don’t play their game, they mess up your place! Throwing eggs on the door, with a smile on their face. Toilet paper on the fence— ketchup on the Mercedes-Benz Or whatever else they invent! 🎃 I don’t watch horror films either, cinema or TV. Why would I voluntarily frighten - me?? Besides, the plots are almost always plain dumb. I mean, it’s sooo obvious - oh come on— The woman shouldn't go down to the cellar in the dark Without turning on a single light or spark! And then calling out: “Hello? Is anybody there?” What if she got an answer from deep down anywhere? 🎃 “Oh, hello! Good day to you! It’s just your friendly serial killer down here, Patiently waiting for you to step down the stairs. ...So, are you coming down, ...... or what?” 🎃 And why waste makeup to disfigure this face of my own To look extra grotesque and really gruesome? That exact sight stares back at me, hey, in the bathroom mirror, every single morning anyway! Come Halloween, I really don't need makeup! 🎃 I don’t like Halloween— not into it - and never have been When normally nice and cute kids — wearing hideous horror outfits and they are getting so mean Shadowy figures demanding a treat! and if I don’t give them their sweets The only thing I can do then, is desperately pray they don’t throw a fit, ’cause it didn’t go their way She does not like Halloween! Never have! She does not like Halloween! Never will! Shut the door and bolt the sill! 🎃 No more Halloween! No more Halloween!
