Nobody knew How loud it was inside my head. I had somewhere to go... But nowhere to turn. Freeway lines were disappearing, Tail lights bleeding through the rain. One second riding, then the impact... Everything had changed. Broken ribs, a body aching, Trying to pretend I'm fine. While another battle started Running circles through my mind. The Heart condition messed with my mind hospitalised, claimed others fears I would be next Another weight I couldn't show. Another reason to keep moving When I wanted to let go. I learned to hide the weakness, Put the mask back on my face. Walk into another morning Like I'd never lost my place. Everybody saw me standing... Nobody saw me fall. I didn't know who I could call. I had nobody to turn to When my mind was consuming me. Nobody saw the war inside, Nobody saw what I couldn't speak. So I drove until the darkness Was the only thing I knew... Then I went down to the water built a fire and reflected on my life its Where I could finally be me. I took the mask off by the reservoir... And let the whole world disappear. I cried more tears than the reservoir Would ever rise in a year. Maybe I don't have the capacity... Maybe I do. All I know is I gave you Everything I had left to give you. I put my past beneath the ground, Buried the hurt and pain, Because you needed me beside you When the hardest days came. I put my own shit to the side, Put my shield back in my hands. Gave you all the strength I had When I could barely understand. I wasn't asking you to fix me, I wasn't asking you to save my life. I just needed somewhere safe To put the weight down for the night. But I kept the mask on tightly, Because I thought that's what you needed... A man who wouldn't break When everything was breaking. Maybe I had nothing left... Maybe I gave it all away. Maybe somewhere underneath it... I was breaking every day. I had nobody to turn to When my mind was consuming me. Nobody saw the war inside, Nobody saw what I couldn't speak. So I drove until the darkness Was the only thing I knew... Then I went down to the water Where I could finally be me. I took the mask off by the reservoir... And let the whole world disappear. I cried more tears than the reservoir Would ever rise in a year. Out there... I didn't have to be strong. Didn't have to be confident. Didn't have to explain. I could be angry. I could be broken. I could cry. And nobody needed me To put the mask back on. Just me... The water... The cold air... And everything I'd buried So I could carry you. Maybe I didn't have the capacity... Maybe I gave you all I had. Maybe I buried my own pain Because you needed me to stand. I put my past into the ground, Every scar I carried through, Gave everything I had left... Because I thought that's what love was supposed to do. The freeway took my body, My heart gave me another fight, But the darkest battle happened Every time I closed my eyes. So I drove down to the reservoir... And finally let it go. I cried more tears than the water Could ever hope to hold. For a moment I wasn't broken. I wasn't lost. I wasn't strong. I was just a man Who'd given everything he had... And finally needed somewhere To put the weight back down. Maybe I had the capacity. Maybe I didn't. All I know... Is I gave you Everything I had left. And somewhere by that water... I finally gave myself permission To feel it.
