10. Apology Department

Take a ticket Find a chair Someone will be with you Eventually There’s a form for damage A form for regret A box marked Too late to fix I filled mine in With a borrowed pen Under reason for visit I wrote your name Then crossed it out And wrote Unfinished business Behind the desk A woman says We’re very sorry For the inconvenience Her smile is tired Her badge says Claire As if Claire invented mercy She asks Was the apology verbal Written Implied Imagined Delayed Weaponised I say It arrived Seventeen years after I stopped rehearsing What I’d say There are apologies That knock too softly There are apologies That kick the lock There are apologies Dressed as wisdom There are sorrys That still want applause You said I’ve been doing some thinking Which usually means Someone else got tired Of hearing your side You said I never meant to hurt you Like intention Was a discount code Like the wound Might check the receipt And refund itself I wanted to be generous I really did I wore my best calm voice I made tea I nodded In all the right places But some words arrive With muddy shoes And walk straight over The floor You spent years Learning how to clean Here is the truth Nobody teaches you Some apologies Are not doors They are receipts Proof that something happened Proof that someone noticed Proof that the past Finally looked up From its paperwork But proof Is not the same thing As peace Claire stamps my form With gentle authority Approved Pending Unresolved She says You may forgive You may decline You may return During office hours I ask What happens If I still love The person I no longer trust She looks at me Like everyone asks that There are apologies That ask for shelter There are apologies That need a stage There are apologies That sound like endings There are sorrys That arrive too late I don’t want revenge I don’t want flowers I don’t want a speech With polished edges I want the younger me Back from the corridor Where you left her Holding the question I want the years Returned in small notes Unmarked Spendable Clean But nobody here Does exchanges So I sign at the bottom I keep my copy I leave the counter With nothing restored But something named And maybe naming Is not healing But it is less lonely Than bleeding In fluent silence There are apologies You don’t owe answers There are apologies You don’t have to hold There are apologies That come back empty There are sorrys That don’t get home Take a ticket Find a chair Some things are sorry Some things are repair