Moderately Insecure

Lo-fi hip hop, indie folk, acoustic guitar loop, spoken word, quirky male vocals, emotional chorus

[Verse 1] See, I walk around with this mask on, right? It’s my Ascendant in Virgo. It keeps me looking analytical, patient, and composed. I look like I have it together, I look efficient. But underneath that? It’s a mess, it’s a total mess. Because my Sun is in Scorpio and my core is intense. I’ve got a Stellium in the third house. Which means I’m obsessively communicating in my head but not with my mouth. I’m digging for hidden truths while I’m just standing in your kitchen.

[Pre-Chorus] (Beat kicks in, getting faster) And the attachment report? Oh, it’s bad news. It says I’m Disorganized and Fearful-Avoidant. It says I’m searching for affection but I’m suspicious of your intentions. It says I have an "I hate you, no, I love you" pattern of behaviors. I hate you! No, I love you! No, I’m just projecting!

[Chorus] (Full band, shouting vocals, high energy) It’s the trauma! It’s the stars! It’s the high anxiety running through my veins! I’m vacillating between the anxious and the avoidant! I desire intimacy but I’m terrified you’re gonna leave! I’m a Scorpio Sun with a fearful heart! And I’m moderately insecure!  Yeah, I’m moderately insecure!

[Verse 2] (Music drops back to just bass and drums) Let’s look at the childhood, let’s look at the parents. The attunement? It was barely even there. So when I signal a need, I don't expect a response. My soothing and reassurance? It wasn't enough. So now I feel helpless, I have poor self-agency. I’m dissociating in the relationship!  I’m checking out! I’m gone!

[Bridge] (Building tension, almost manic) And the workbook says I need a therapist. Someone who offers a non-judging space! But my solution is "Do not trust anyone". Even though the report says that’s not a fruitful solution! My Moon is in Libra , I just want harmony!  I just want peace! But I’m acting chaotically!

[Chorus] (Maximum volume, emotional) It’s the anxiety taking over the chart! I’m vacillating! I’m clinging then I’m dismissing! I desire love but I believe I’m not worthy of it! I’m a Scorpio Sun with a Virgo Mask! And I’m moderately insecure!

[Outro] (Abrupt stop to music. Just spoken word) So, anyway. That’s why I acted weird at the party. I’m just trying to cultivate a secure attachment. I’m working on it. Call me back? Please?

[End]

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[Spoken Intro] (Clean guitar chords, slight tape hiss) Hi, uh, my name is Alex. And I’ve been reading some PDFs lately. I’ve been reading a lot about my soul. And my cosmic blueprint. And I think I figured out why I didn't text you back. [Verse 1] See, I walk around with this mask on, right? It’s my Ascendant in Virgo. It keeps me looking analytical, patient, and composed. I look like I have it together, I look efficient. But underneath that? It’s a mess, it’s a total mess. Because my Sun is in Scorpio and my core is intense. I’ve got a Stellium in the third house. Which means I’m obsessively communicating in my head but not with my mouth. I’m digging for hidden truths while I’m just standing in your kitchen. [Pre-Chorus] (Beat kicks in, getting faster) And the attachment report? Oh, it’s bad news. It says I’m Disorganized and Fearful-Avoidant. It says I’m searching for affection but I’m suspicious of your intentions. It says I have an "I hate you, no, I love you" pattern of behaviors. I hate you! No, I love you! No, I’m just projecting! [Chorus] (Full band, shouting vocals, high energy) It’s the trauma! It’s the stars! It’s the high anxiety running through my veins! I’m vacillating between the anxious and the avoidant! I desire intimacy but I’m terrified you’re gonna leave! I’m a Scorpio Sun with a fearful heart! And I’m moderately insecure! Yeah, I’m moderately insecure! [Verse 2] (Music drops back to just bass and drums) Let’s look at the childhood, let’s look at the parents. The attunement? It was barely even there. So when I signal a need, I don't expect a response. My soothing and reassurance? It wasn't enough. So now I feel helpless, I have poor self-agency. I’m dissociating in the relationship! I’m checking out! I’m gone! [Bridge] (Building tension, almost manic) And the workbook says I need a therapist. Someone who offers a non-judging space! But my solution is "Do not trust anyone". Even though the report says that’s not a fruitful solution! My Moon is in Libra , I just want harmony! I just want peace! But I’m acting chaotically! [Chorus] (Maximum volume, emotional) It’s the anxiety taking over the chart! I’m vacillating! I’m clinging then I’m dismissing! I desire love but I believe I’m not worthy of it! I’m a Scorpio Sun with a Virgo Mask! And I’m moderately insecure! [Outro] (Abrupt stop to music. Just spoken word) So, anyway. That’s why I acted weird at the party. I’m just trying to cultivate a secure attachment. I’m working on it. Call me back? Please? [End]

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