# **This Is How My Autism Feels** 🧩💜 ### *Crazy Sue’s Song* **[Verse 1]** I suck my thumb, bite my bottom lip, Tap my feet and let my fingers flick. Hands keep moving, knees move too, That’s just my body being Sue. Sometimes I rub a fabric in my hand, Soft little feelings help me understand. Cotton and fleece against my skin, Soft on the outside helps calm within. **[Pre-Chorus]** Don’t watch me like I’m strange, Don’t tell me what I should feel. Come inside my world for a minute— This is how it feels for real. **[Chorus]** **This is how my autism feels to me, Not somebody looking in and telling me what they see. Sometimes I’m moving, sometimes I’m still, Sometimes my brain has simply had its fill.** I love my glitter, colours and light, But flashing and flickering don’t feel right. I might cry, I might go quiet too— **This is my autism. This is Crazy Sue.** 💜 **[Verse 2]** Give me soft clothes, nothing scratching my skin, No stiff little tags trying to burrow in. Stretchy and gentle, comforting too, Not painfully tight—I know what works for Sue. Give me colours dancing around my room, A lava lamp glowing in the afternoon. Sparkles catching light make me smile, I could sit there watching for quite a while. But bathroom lights flickering over my head? Big bright lights? I’d rather not instead. What feels tiny to somebody passing through Can become the only thing my brain can view. **[Chorus]** **This is how my autism feels to me, Not somebody looking in and telling me what they see. Sometimes I’m moving, sometimes I’m still, Sometimes my brain has simply had its fill.** I love my glitter, colours and light, But flashing and flickering don’t feel right. I might cry, I might go quiet too— **This is my autism. This is Crazy Sue.** **[Verse 3]** Play that song again. No, really. Again. 🎵 I know we heard it five minutes ago, But I already know everywhere it will go. Same little rhythm, same favourite line, Same familiar feeling every single time. When everything else changes without a clue, That song stays exactly where I need it to. I’ll scratch the fabric, rub it between My fingers because I like how it feels to me. There doesn’t always need to be a reason why— Sometimes something just makes my brain feel right. **[Bridge]** And when I cry— Please don’t assume pain. Sometimes there’s simply Too much in my brain. Too much noise. Too much light. Too much talking. Too much fight. Too many questions. Too many plans. Too many instructions. Too many demands. My tears aren’t always something I choose. Sometimes my nervous system simply says: **“Sue, we’ve got nothing left to use.”** So don’t teach me a lesson While I’m trying to come down. Don’t fire twenty questions While my thoughts are spinning round. Give me quiet. Give me time. One soft voice is fine. Let my brain settle, Then the words might become mine. **[Breakdown]** And sometimes it happens later. I held it together all day. I smiled. I talked. I got through everything anyway. Then I finally reach somewhere safe And suddenly the tears arrive. That doesn’t mean nothing happened. It means I spent all day trying to survive. **[Verse 4]** Shopping centres, supermarkets, People everywhere, Bright lights, overlapping voices, Strong smells in the air. Sirens, fireworks, barking dogs, Machines that never stop, Every little sound and movement Going straight into the pot. Then plans change without warning, Everything shifts around. My brain was ready for one direction, Now there isn’t solid ground. Give me time to make the change. Tell me clearly what comes next. A little bit of warning Can save me so much stress. **[Final Chorus]** **This is how my autism feels to me, So listen to my words instead of deciding what you see. My moving hands, my tapping feet, My quiet moments and songs on repeat.** My soft clothes, my fabrics, glitter and light, My need for calm when things don’t feel right. When I cry, it isn’t always pain. And sometimes when pain comes— **I go quiet again.** So listen when I’m loud. Listen when I’m still. Listen when my brain Has finally had its fill. Don’t take away the things That help me make it through. **This is my autism. This is my world. This is Crazy Sue.** 🧩💜✨ **[Outro]** Thumb in my mouth. Fingers moving. Favourite song Still playing. Soft fabric Under my hand. Lava lamp Glowing again. Some things calm me. Some things overwhelm me. Some things I can explain. Some things I can’t. But they all belong to me. **Don’t describe my autism for me.** **Listen when I tell you how it feels.** 💜
