All rights reserved. Copyright © 2026 suno.com/@asukachatmusic I told you I was tired today You asked if I had slept at all I said that I would be okay Then cried when you ended the call I sat there staring at your words I knew you wanted me to speak I typed I'm fine then erased it I couldn't lie again this week I don't know how to tell someone I'm scared of being left alone Because the thoughts get worse at night When there is nobody at home And every morning I get up Like nothing happened hours before I get dressed and make it through Then wonder what I'm doing it for Please don't ask if I'm okay I don't know what I'm meant to say I don't want to make you scared But I'm getting scared this way I don't think I want to disappear I just need this hurting to end And lately when the night gets here I'm scared of where my thoughts descend I know you'd tell me not to leave I know you'd beg me not to go But I don't know how to believe I'll make it through another tomorrow I am trying I swear I'm trying Please believe me I am trying You said you loved me yesterday I had to turn my eyes away Because I wanted that to help And hated that I felt the same I know how awful that must sound You give me everything you can And I still wake up every night Not knowing how much more I have I think about the ones I love And what my leaving would put them through Then guilt becomes another reason I cannot tell them what is true Because what happens if I speak And every night they worry too What happens if they lose their sleep Because they're scared I'll follow through So I say nothing I say nothing And I keep making everyone believe I'm just tired I don't think I want to disappear I just need this hurting to end And lately when the night gets here I'm scared of where my thoughts descend I know you'd tell me not to leave I know you'd beg me not to go But I don't know how to believe I'll make it through another tomorrow And I'm sorry God I'm sorry I know you're trying too Would you blame yourself if I was gone Would you read the things I wrote Would you search through every conversation For something you should have known Would you wonder why I never called Would you think you missed the signs Would you lie awake remembering Every time I said I'm fine Would you remember when I laughed And wonder whether it was true Would you question every time I said That I would somehow make it through That is why I haven't left That is why I'm breathing now Not because I've figured this out I just couldn't hurt you somehow And I know that's not enough I know I need a reason too But tonight I cannot find one So I'm holding onto you Without you knowing Without me saying Without admitting how afraid I've gotten lately Because I don't want to disappear I don't I don't I just don't know how to keep doing this I keep telling everybody I'm tired Because tired is easier to hear Nobody panics when you're tired Nobody begs you to stay here But I'm so tired of being tired I'm so tired of saying I'm okay I'm so tired of waking every morning And wondering how I'll survive the day And I I I'm sorry I don't know how much more I can take Please I don't need you to fix me I just I don't want to be alone right now I don't think I want to disappear I think I want this hurting to end I'm terrified when night gets here Of where my thoughts might go again I cannot promise I'm okay I cannot promise I won't cry I cannot tell you about tomorrow I can only give you tonight So if you ask me if I'm fine I don't think I can lie again No I'm not okay I'm not okay But I'm here I'm still here That's all I have tonight Please Let that be enough tonight
