My Tractor Left Me for a

My Tractor Left Me for a Squirrel” 🤠🎸 Verse 1 Well, I woke up Tuesday on a Saturday morn’, Milked my watermelon in a field of corn. My rooster made coffee, my cow played bass, And my mailbox grew a mustache on its face. My tractor packed a suitcase, rolled out the gate, Said, “I’ve met a squirrel and it’s gettin’ pretty serious, mate.” I tipped my hat to a fence named Lou, He said, “Don’t blame love… blame kangaroos.” Chorus 🎶 My tractor left me for a squirrel today, Now they’re building a mansion outta chicken pot pie. My horse keeps gossipin’ with a pumpkin in a tree, And my dog just got promoted to assistant deputy bee. If you think I’m crazy, buddy, that’s okay… The moon just paid my mortgage anyway. 🎶 Verse 2 Caught a catfish drivin’ my old John Deere, Sippin’ sweet tea through a bicycle mirror. Grandma’s scarecrow started square-dancin’ with rain, While the clouds played poker on a runaway train. The outhouse got Wi-Fi and a velvet rug, A possum opened up a bed-and-breakfast for slugs. My overalls filed taxes on a jar of jam, Then got into an argument with a ceiling fan. Bridge Well, the preacher baptized a tumbleweed, The tumbleweed thanked him with a lima bean. The sheriff pulled over a runaway kite… Turns out it didn’t even have a driver’s light. Final Chorus 🎶 My tractor left me for a squirrel today, Sent me a postcard from the Milky Way. My boots learned ballroom with a frying pan, Now my pickup truck’s in a bluegrass band. If life gets weird, just sing along… ’Cause around here, wrong is country strong! 🎶 Outro (spoken) “Y’all pray for Earl…” “Who’s Earl?” “The refrigerator.” 🤠🥒🚜