Lurkey Love

[Chorus] You know how it feels; to have your love scorned? To love from afar, your heart tattered and torn? Cheer up you've a friend with a magical horn His name's Lurkey, the unrequited love Unicorn [Verse] Her 10 minute bus ride, that’s when I Creep with my plastic dog poop, I save her a seat Standing old ladies sometimes will quibble To shut them up, I pick it up, and take a nibble [Verse ] Sitting behind her, I read what she writes I've collected her logins from every website One password for all, it’s "Hairy-Girl-Scout" It's so careless with all the weirdos about [Pre-chorus] I am so lurkey in love (murkey, lurkey, lurkey, in love) [Chorus] You know how it feels; to have your love scorned? To love from afar, your heart tattered and torn? Cheer up you've a friend with a magical horn His name's Lurkey, the unrequited love Unicorn [Instrumental ] [Verse] On the bus one night, she passes me by I whispered her name, she turned to say "Hi" I felt panic rise up, and before she could speak I jumped out the window and broke both my feet I am so lurkey in love (murkey, lurkey, lurkey, in love) [Verse] From my hospital bed, I logged into her Twitter What I read shocked me, I was so sad so bitter But I’m a fighter and "fighters must dare" So I made a cunning plan and stole a wheelchair. [Pre-chorus] I am so lurkey in love (murkey, lurkey, lurkey, in love) [Chorus] You know how it feels; to have your love scorned? To love from afar, your heart tattered and torn? Cheer up you've a friend with a magical horn His name's Lurkey, the unrequited love Unicorn I faked my death, but it was only pretend, Hired actors, to play the part of grieving friends At the funeral I lurk at the back in disguise Counting each tear that rolls from her eyes In that sweet moment of sorrow and grief I pass her a scented silk handkerchief With that scented perfume, "eau de chloroform" And a getaway chariot, powered by unicorn [Chorus] You know how it feels; to have your love scorned? To love from afar, your heart tattered and torn? Cheer up you've a friend with a magical horn His name's Lurkey, the unrequited love Unicorn I made a daring escape to my secret lair Arranged over Zoom, a priest married us there She muttered and mumbled as she awoke I thought that's funny she sounds like a bloke I explained so excited that now we are wed She listened, took my hand and said.. Can I borrow some pants for our honeymoon night My balls get so itchy in these nylon tights (His balls get so itchy in those nylon tights) I am so lurkey in love (murkey, lurkey, lurkey, in love) [End]