Finally Me

Standing at your grave In a cold October rain I mumbled a few prayers Even spoke your name When I left to escape In the warmth of a car I laughed at who I am Remembering what we were I drove away with the purpose Of one who only could agree How very much like you I turned out to be The truth in our silence Was always ice in the rain Too wet to predict Too cold to change Now my children lie to me Like I always lied to you Anything it takes I suppose Just to make it through I dream dreams alone now Believing I am clean But I guess deep inside I need to wake up mean Old man I am distant Old man I have no cause Old man I see no audience Old man I hear no applause I have faced the storm I have braved the rain Understanding that the past Has no one left to blame I value each blessing Lesser than each curse The price seems equal But it’s really so much worse I left some store bought flowers There beside your grave They will die like the memories That both of us made Yes, I am now the son I thought you wanted me to be I am finally you, old man Yes, you are finally me