That's Not Me Anymore

[Verse 1] I wear my grin like a loaded weapon, Teeth on display while the barrel stays hidden. You wanted peace from a mouth full of violence, Wanted clean hands from a life built on silence. Every apology tasted rehearsed, Every “I’m fine” just sharpened the curse. I stitched myself together with lies and worse, Now the seams split open whenever you speak. [Pre-Chorus] I keep the monster on a short chain, It bites through metal, bone, and restraint. You called it “growth,” you called it “healing,” But it was just rage that I was feeling. [Chorus] I don’t want back what I used to be, That corpse still talks when the room goes quiet. It knows my voice, it knows my grief, Knows every wound I painted over. If you came here looking for the old me, Dig through the wreckage, sift through the smoke. You’ll find a heartbeat under the concrete, But that's not me anymore. [Verse 2] Blood in my teeth from biting my tongue, Years disappeared while I played the obedient son. Smile for the cameras, bow to the verdict, Smile till your face forgets what pain is. I learned how to drown without touching water, Learned how to kneel while plotting escape. The mirror still keeps a file on me, Every scar tagged with a date and a motive. [Pre-Chorus] You want repentance, you want confession, I’ve got a shovel and a long memory. The thing you miss is the thing I hated. The thing you praise is the thing that I buried. [Chorus] I don’t want back what I used to be, That corpse still talks when the room goes quiet. It knows my voice, it knows my grief, Knows every wound I painted over. If you came here looking for the old me, Dig through the wreckage, sift through the smoke. You’ll find a heartbeat under the concrete, But that's not me anymore. [Bridge] Under my skin there’s a city collapsing, Street by street, promise by promise. I hear the sirens of my younger self, Begging me to turn around. I won’t. I can't, I refuse to crawl back into that cage. [Breakdown] Cut the rope. Let the old world sink. No absolution. No return. Say my name, It’s not the same. Say my name, Watch me break the chains! [Final Chorus] I don’t want back what I used to be, Leave the ashes where the fire left them. I carried that ghost through every season, Fed it excuses, fed it my sleep. Now the floor shakes when I say “I’m leaving,” Now the walls crack when I refuse to bleed. If you still worship what I was yesterday, Kneel at the grave and cry over the stone. I’m still alive beneath the concrete, But I won't answer to that name anymore. I won't answer to that name anymore! I won't answer to that name!!!! That's not me anymore..... Not me anymore... That's not me.... Anymore