[Verse 1] It started with a 5K Before the turkey and the pie My cousin said, “Just come along,” And I don’t know why I said I’d try I wore my gym class sneakers And my pajama pants Crossed the finish line wheezing But man, I did a dance! [Verse 2] Then came a New Year’s challenge I said “Just one more, okay…” Next thing I knew it was April I was toeing the line at a 10K They gave me a banana And a medal shaped like toast I swore I was retiring— But then I made a post… [Chorus] Ohhh, it started with a 5K Just a little fun run in the cold Now I’m 42 miles deep And my toenails are growing mold From turkey trots to finish lines To distances insane There’s avocado and E-Z cheese Where once was candy canes It started with a 5K… Now I’m chasing mountain rain [Verse 3] I got conned into a half-marathon With promises of brunch (“Bottomless mimosas!”) But I just got oranges and a dry peanut butter crunch Then someone said “You’ve come this far, Why not a marathon?” I should’ve run away right then— But instead I jogged along [Bridge] Now it’s 3 a.m. And I’m hugging a tree Singing lullabies to squirrels Who look more rested than me Salted potatoes in my vest Licorice in my hand Saltine crackers, EZ cheese Gourmet like Michelin land! [Chorus] Yeahhh, it started with a 5K Just a “fun run” they had said Now I’m dodging snakes and blisters And hallucinating bread From couch to ultra runner In a timeline unexplained But I’ve never felt more alive Even slightly undertrained It started with a 5K… Now I’m running through terrain! [Breakdown – Spoken w/ kazoo solo] “This wasn’t in the brochure!” “Why is that aid station serving pickles and Oreos?” “I swear that bush just whispered, ‘Keep going, brave warrior…’” [Final Chorus] Ohhh, it started with a 5K Before the gravy and the rolls Now I’m fifty miles in Fighting bears and meeting goals It’s a story that sounds bonkers But I promise it’s all true So if someone asks you to “just jog” Know what you’re getting into… It started with a 5K... ...And now it ends at mile fifty-two.
