Poison and Luck

Verse 1 Resentment got a key to my back door, creeps in quiet when I’m flat on the floor. I thought I buried that shit six feet deep, but trauma don’t die, it just waits for sleep. Bottle on the counter like a loaded prayer, Xanax in the dark when I can’t breathe air. Everybody says, “Just let it go,” like they ever had a ghost living in their bones. Pre-Chorus Triggers hit like headlights, heart runs red lights, I’m back in the fire with the same damn knife. Chorus How the hell do you heal without going hollow? How the hell do you feel what you can’t swallow? I don’t wanna be numb, I don’t wanna be gone, I don’t wanna pour my soul down the throat of a song. Screaming at the ceiling, “God, what the fuck?” I’m tired of surviving on poison and luck. I don’t wanna be numb, I just wanna be free, but the past keeps putting its hands on me. Verse 2 Bleach-blonde phantom out of Detroit, said he killed the void without killing his voice. Almost two decades with the demons on mute, but how do you stay clean when they’re screaming at you? How do you sit with the rage in your chest? How do you sleep with a war in your bed? How do you not turn your veins into night when your memories pull up looking for a fight? Pre-Chorus I’m pissed at the damage, pissed at the shame, pissed that I still flinch when I hear certain names. Chorus How the hell do you heal without going hollow? How the hell do you feel what you can’t swallow? I don’t wanna be numb, I don’t wanna be gone, I don’t wanna pour my soul down the throat of a song. Screaming at the ceiling, “God, what the fuck?” I’m tired of surviving on poison and luck. I don’t wanna be numb, I just wanna be free, but the past keeps putting its hands on me. Bridge So I’ll bite down hard, let the thunder pass, name every monster that’s wearing a mask. I’ll call somebody before I cave, I’ll drag my ass back from the grave. I’ll punch the pillow, not my skin, I’ll write the poison out again. I’ll curse, I’ll cry, I’ll shake, I’ll bleed, but I won’t let the void keep feeding on me. Final Chorus How the hell do you heal without going hollow? Maybe one breath, then another to follow. I don’t have to be numb, I don’t have to be gone, I can turn this wreckage into blood in a song. Screaming at the ceiling, “God, I’m still here!” Even with the rage, even with the fear. I don’t wanna be numb, I’m learning to be free, and the past can scream— but it don’t own me. Outro No, it don’t own me. No, it don’t own me. I’m not the void. I’m the voice underneath.