[Intro] Well, the cooler looked innocent That’s how these stories start [Verse 1] We parked beside the county fair Where the gravel met the pines Jake brought six, I brought a case And somebody brought cheap wine By nine we were arm-wrestlin’ By ten we’d lost the keys By midnight I was tellin’ strangers I could outrun trees [Pre-Chorus] I woke up on a picnic table With a boot print on my shirt My mouth tasted like a tailpipe And my pride was in the dirt [Chorus] I got Bigfooted last night Lord, that morning hit hard Like a hairy legend from the timber Used my spine for a backyard My head was split, my knees were weak My stomach waved the white I don’t know what happened after two But I got Bigfooted last night [Verse 2] The sheriff said, “You hugged a statue” The waitress said, “You sang” The band said I climbed onstage And challenged every man There was pancake syrup in my wallet A possum in the shed And one enormous muddy footprint Beside my aching bed [Pre-Chorus] My jeans were clean, my story wasn’t My phone had proof enough Three hundred blurry selfies And a text that said, “Too much” [Chorus] I got Bigfooted last night Lord, that morning hit hard Like a hairy legend from the timber Used my spine for a backyard My head was split, my knees were weak My stomach waved the white I don’t know what happened after two But I got Bigfooted last night [Bridge] Now I ain’t sayin’ Bigfoot did it That’d be hard to prove But somethin’ with a giant footprint Had me barely able to move So if you’re pourin’ one more round Buddy, listen close to me: A tall tale’s fun at closing time Till it walks you home for free [Final Chorus] I got Bigfooted last night And I’m payin’ for it twice Once for every whiskey shot And once for bad advice My head was split, my knees were weak My soul had lost the fight I’m swearin’ off the bottle now— Till Friday night Yeah, I got Bigfooted last night Somebody dim the light [Outro] If you see that hairy fella Tell him I’m staying in tonight
