[VERSE 1] [MALE VOCAL] This is not in the brief! This is not in the file! This is... frankly... beyond all belief! She is smiling, but... why does she smile? She's got... paint on her sleeve. And her hair is... electric... blue. This is not what the data achieved! This is not what the system said "true"! She just ordered... "everything"! She just... gestured... with a spoon! She is chaos, just... blossoming! Like a wild, distracting cartoon! [CHORUS] [MALE VOCAL] It's a deviation from the mean! A statistical, critical flaw! The single most baffling person I've seen! She's defying numerical law! The app said "a 100 percent"! It said "perfectly, quantifiably matched"! So what is this... creature... it sent?! My entire life plan is unlatched! This is... wrong. This is... loud. This is... totally, utterly, mathematically... weird! [VERSE 2] [MALE VOCAL] She is humming... a tune... It does not have a key. It is... not.. in... tune! And she's stealing the bread... look at me! She asked if I've ever... "felt"... ...The color "turquoise"... with my... "soul." I don't know what that meant! I am losing systemic control! I am checking my watch And my heart rate is rising too fast This entire date is a botch It's an error... too big to get past! [CHORUS] [MALE VOCAL] It's a deviation from the mean! A statistical, critical flaw! The single most baffling person I've seen! She's defying numerical law! The app said "a 100 percent"! It said "perfectly, quantifiably matched"! So what is this... creature... it sent?! My entire life plan is unlatched! This is... wrong. This is... loud. This is... totally, utterly, mathematically... weird! [BRIDGE] [MALE VOCAL] And the worst part is... No... The strangest part is... The app is... still... running. It's... recalibrating... It says... "Compatibility... 100%" It says... "Status: In Progress" It says... "Enjoying your match?" ...NO! ...Maybe? ...NO! [OUTRO] [MALE VOCAL] I must now... conclude... this... event. I must... file a report. This is not... what the algorithm... meant. I must... stop... this... ...She just built a... small fort. ...Out of... sugar packets. ...Oh dear. Oh... dear.
