Missing you all I’ve been thinking of

Today hit me how much I miss you. I’m not asking why anymore cause I’ll never get the answer. The void is like a piece of me is gone forever and I know you exist in another life as a soul. I haven’t even seen a crow in about two weeks. Did you stop visiting me? Was your holographic dream of you your way of saying goodbye I miss you, bro. You were like a reflection of me. I feel like I’m healing so that’s a good thing and I haven’t cried in a long time but today hit me. It amazes me How spiritually you were and yet you go and take your life which makes me think that you had a different plan I still don’t think that you meant to die that day. I really think you were trying to get your girl back and your roommate was supposed to save you, but you guys didn’t calculate it properly. That’s all speculation though again I can’t ask why guess what your roommate married your girl and adopted your kid I’m glad he’s out of my life though, but I wish you were still here cause you would be who I’m calling right now saying man Jason guess what happened today and you’ve been like are you Shay or are you Bernard? Hahaha! We were supposed to be building this Kingdom together, but instead I went to Maui without you to meet everybody and it was an amazing experience although I ended up in the hospital but you know it was a buildup of everything losing you your roommate situation yeah if you ever want to visit me in my dream, I’m ready for you And this is so hard. I miss my dad this much too so so I know the void never goes away, but it does get easier. You know I was falling for you right that’s OK. My timing is always off this life. I guess I’m a lesbian but so are you you are a lesbian too, right I love you bro and I miss you and I hope you hear me up in heaven, the sun, whatever it is outer space pass the ferment, OK peace and aloha.