A Ballad To Die For

The Ballad of Inigo Montoya [Verse 1] Hark, good patrons, gather near, a tale I shall unfold, Of Inigo Montoya's quest, both tragic and quite bold! A swordsman from fair Spain he was, with skill beyond compare, Whose father's death by six-fingered hand left vengeance in the air! [Verse 2] His father forged a special blade, with balance pure and true, The nobleman who ordered it, paid half of what was due. When proud Domingo asked for more, the nobleman said "Nay!" Then ran him through with his own sword, and quickly fled away! [Verse 3] Young Inigo, a boy of ten, discovered this foul deed, And swore upon his father's grave, to make the villain bleed. He trained his hand in swordplay fine, became a master true, And searched the land both far and wide, with just one goal in view! [Verse 4] For twenty years he wandered wide, perfecting every stance, His blade became an extension true, in every fight and dance. A master of the Agrippa form, and Bonetti's Defense, His quest for vengeance never dulled, his focus never hence! [Verse 5] These words would be the villain's last, before they met defeat! A simple phrase he practiced well, to speak when they would meet: [Male Spanish Accent, Gravitas] "Hello., My name is Inigo Montoya., You killed my father., Prepare to die!" [Verse 6] So if you meet a Spaniard fierce, with mustache thin and neat, Who asks about six fingers, friends, be careful whom you greet! For Inigo Montoya's quest shall never be denied, Until the six-fingered villain pays, and justice is applied! [Verse 7] The moral of this tale, good friends, is plain enough to see: Be careful whom you wrong in life, lest vengeance come for thee! And always pay your craftsmen fair, for work that they have done, Or you may find a master's blade, will end your days of fun! [Final Flourish] Now pass the cup and coin, I pray, for tales of daring-do! And hope that Inigo's far away, or we might need him too!