I've been thinking this problems over and over for a very long time. It's ate at me, but I've grown back enough to last. I have had much help throughout my life. Wonderful people who pick up the slack. Pick up my slack. I'm so happy and thankful. So very grateful. But I still fall into pits. I still lose my grip. I still lose myself who I am. I look in the mirror and I see a character. Sometimes a monster. It's scary I wonder if there's anything actually left of me. Who am I? x3 It's actually quite easy growing up with nothing and nobody. The people you would expect to be there off doing something. Never quite figured out what they were doing. They don't seem to interested in talking about it these days. I'm glad not to be in the position to hear what their "answers" would be anyways. They are their own monsters and I'm very happy to be rid of them. At least until they get bored and find time to throw their monkeys. I suppose I may have disarmed them in that respect. I'm not sure to be honest. The things that they did is certainly bad. But at least I can continue what I'm doing now. I can continue to improve. I continue to become a better more real person and prop up the people who actually matter in my life. It's actually quite easy growing up with nothing and nobody. The people you would expect to be there off doing something. Never quite figured out what they were doing. They don't seem to interested in talking about it these days. I'm glad not to be in the position to hear what their "answers" were anyways. They are their own monsters and I'm very happy to be rid of them. At least until they get bored. I suppose I may have disarmed them in that respect. I'm not sure to be honest. At least I can continue what I'm doing now. I can continue to improve. I continue to become a better more real person and prop up the people who actually matter in my life. At least I can continue what I'm doing now. I can continue to improve. I continue to become a better more real person and prop up the people who actually matter in my life. (dissonant distorted guitar solo) (guitar solo continues) (guitar solo begins and is wailing and screaming) [FADES OUT] (drums open up, hihats go open)
