MyCareerKit - Delete your apps (Mashup)

[INTRO] [synthwave cruise, deceptively calm, building tension] you know what's funny you're still using the same tools that got you rejected last time and the time before that and the time before that [bass drops] [VERSE 1] [synthwave cruise, reese bass] LinkedIn wants you posting selfies calling it a brand thought leadership at seven AM nobody understands paying twenty bucks a month to see who viewed your page it was someone from accounting having a midlife crisis — congratulations Indeed just showed you listings from two thousand and four ZipRecruiter matched you to a job in a different country on a different shore Glassdoor told you the culture's great, three reviews, all from the CEO's wife and you're still out here copy pasting cover letters with your life [PRE-CHORUS] meanwhile one app one dashboard dark mode done [CHORUS] delete your apps delete your apps LinkedIn's laughing all the way to the bank with your subscription delete your apps delete your apps Canva CV looking pretty but it failed the ATS inspection My Career Kit, one window, one workflow, one shot everything the others promised actually what you got [VERSE 2] [synthwave cruise, reese bass, wobble bass] Kickresume gave you forty seven templates, cool picked the wrong one, failed the scanner, back to square one fool Novoresume charged you monthly for the privilege of your own profile put their watermark on your CV like that's acceptable in two thousand and meanwhile Teal's got a Kanban board to track how you're ignored color coded rejection, organized, fully stored Huntr's got a Chrome extension watching every click My Career Kit just pulled the listing, wrote the letter, did the trick [PRE-CHORUS] no extension no watermark no nonsense [CHORUS] delete your apps delete your apps LinkedIn's laughing all the way to the bank with your subscription delete your apps delete your apps Canva CV looking pretty but it failed the ATS inspection My Career Kit, one window, one workflow, one shot everything the others promised actually what you got [BRIDGE] [beat drops to bare pulse, cold and devastating] let's talk about Canva beautiful CV gorgeous gradients stunning layout the ATS scanner looked at it and returned null it returned null it literally returned null you handed a work of art to a robot that cannot read art My Career Kit generates HTML exports to PDF looks incredible AND passes the scanner because we actually thought about it [beat slams back] [VERSE 3] Indeed buries your application under four hundred more ZipRecruiter auto applies you to jobs you'd never go for ChatGPT spat out a CV and called it done plain text in a blank document — was that supposed to be fun Enhancv put their logo on your CV in bold generated something that looked like it was three years old every single app out here collecting monthly fees to do half of what My Career Kit does for you with ease [FINAL CHORUS] delete your apps delete your apps LinkedIn's laughing all the way to the bank with your subscription delete your apps delete your apps Canva CV looking pretty but it failed the ATS inspection My Career Kit, one window, one workflow, one shot everything the others promised actually what you got delete your apps I'm serious delete them right now what are you waiting for [OUTRO] [synthwave fades, single dark synth note] LinkedIn, tried it. profile viewed by accounting. Indeed, tried it. listing was from 2019. Canva, tried it. ATS said no. Kickresume, tried it. watermark on my own CV. My Career Kit [notification sound] interview confirmed [music stops] delete your apps