[INTRO — INSTRUMENTAL SUSPENSE STRINGS] [CARMELLA — FEMALE SPOKEN, LOW AND OMINOUS] Fugget About It... Go for a drive, Frankie says. Fresh air, Frankie says. A nice little weekend in the country. I shoulda known he was up to somethin'. [VERSE 1 — CARMELLA, FEMALE SUNG LEAD] I'm cruisin' upstate in my Cadillac black, Got a mink on my shoulders an' a hat in the back. Then the engine starts coughin', makes a terrible sound, An' the whole damn automobile comes to rest in a field outta town. Now I'm standin' in heels on a two-lane road, With a dead transmission an' a thousand-pound load Of designer luggage, cosmetics, an' pride— Not a taxi, not a deli, not a wiseguy in sight! [CHORUS — CARMELLA, FEMALE SUNG LEAD, FULL ORCHESTRATION] Fugget About It! My car's on the fritz! I'm stranded in a place where the nearest town's six Long miles away, an' I'm losin' my patience— I didn't survive Brooklyn to die of inconvenience! Get me a mechanic! Get me a phone! Get me a nice little place where a dame ain't alone! I'm a queen of the boroughs, a woman of class— I ain't walkin' to town in a pair of Ferragamo flats! [VERSE 2 — CARMELLA, FEMALE SUNG LEAD] I flag down a farmer in overalls an' boots, He's got dirt on his fingers an' hay in his roots. I says, "Hey, handsome, ya know where I can find a telephone?" He says, "Five miles that way." I says, "FIVE MILES FOR A PHONE?!" He offers me a ride in his beat-up truck, I look at the upholstery. I says, "What the—what?!" He says, "Hop on in." I says, "Listen, my friend, I've seen cleaner upholstery in a police precinct pen!" [VERSE 3 — CARMELLA, FEMALE SPOKEN, SUSPENSEFUL STRINGS] I call up Frankie. [CARMELLA — FEMALE SPOKEN, LOW AND OMINOUS] "Ya lousy bum! I'm stranded in a field, and there's a chicken lookin' at me like it's packin' a concealed! There's a goat by the fence with a real nasty stare, An' I think the little bastard wants to eat my hair!" Frankie says, "Carmella, relax, enjoy the view." I says, "Enjoy the view?! I'M GONNA BURY YOU!" He says, "I'll send the boys." I says, "Send a limousine! An' tell 'em bring espresso. This place is obscene!" [BRIDGE — FARMER SPEAKS, MALE VOICE ONLY, SOUTHERN DRAWL] [FARMER — MALE SPOKEN, DEADPAN] "Lady, that goat belongs to the mayor." [CARMELLA — FEMALE WHISPER, SAME LEAD VOICE] ...The MAYOR? [SHORT CHORUS — CARMELLA, FEMALE SUNG LEAD] Fugget About It! I'm done with this town! There's mud on my heels an' my spirits are down! I can handle a wiseguy, a raid, or a trial— But this place hasn't seen a decent blowout in a while! [VERSE 4 — CARMELLA, FEMALE SUNG LEAD, BUILDING ORCHESTRATION] At last, Frankie rolls up in his long black car, With two of his boys an' a cigar in the jar. He looks at my face, says, "You look kinda tense." I says, "I'VE BEEN NEGOTIATING WITH LIVESTOCK FOR THIRTY MINUTES!" He laughs. Big mistake. Now he's beggin' for mercy, While I'm tellin' the boys where to park the Chrysler. "Put the bags in the trunk! Get this vehicle movin'! An' if that goat comes near me, somebody's gettin' a bruisin'!" [FINAL CHORUS — CARMELLA, FEMALE SUNG LEAD, TRIUMPHANT FULL ORCHESTRA] Fugget About It! I'm back on the road! Get me back to Brooklyn, unload this whole load! Let the farmers keep their tractors, let the chickens run free— There's a queen in the back seat, an' that queen is ME! I can handle the mob, I can handle the heat, But don't ever strand me where the sidewalks are wheat! You can take the dame outta New York for a day— BUT YA BETTA HAVE TRIPLE Ay WHEN YA DRIVE HER AWAY! [OUTRO — STRINGS FALL TO A LOW, OMINOUS DRONE] [CARMELLA — FEMALE SPOKEN, LOW AND THREATENING] Frankie? [FRANKIE — MALE SPOKEN ONLY, LOW NEW YORK ACCENT] "Yeah, Carmella?" [CARMELLA — FEMALE SPOKEN, DRY AND SARCASTIC] Next time ya tell me I should getaway... [CARMELLA — FEMALE SPOKEN, SAME VOICE] Make sure the getaway car gets away. [CARMELLA — FEMALE SPOKEN, QUIET AND MENACING] And Frankie? [FRANKIE — MALE SPOKEN ONLY] "Yeah?" [CARMELLA — FEMALE WHISPER, SAME VOICE] That goat knows too much. [ORCHESTRAL STING — NO VOCALS. END.]
