[Verse 1] Three in the morning, fridge light burns. That green cap cracks; my stomach turns. One hand on keys, one round to go. My left eye twitches; frames run slow. Rank drops again; I blame the ping. My group chat says, “Skill issue, king.” That smug frog grins beneath my score. I hit “rematch,” then drink some more. The bass shakes crumbs off last night’s plate. My downstairs neighbor yells, “It’s late!” His ceiling thumps beneath my feet. I take those knocks and make a beat. The lobby waits; my name lights green. I’m mouthing shit at my own screen. My voice kicks in; the desk mic clips. There’s neon fizz across my lips. [Chorus] I'M ALL JACKED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW; MY BLOOD RUNS RED WHITE AND NEON GREEN; I'M ALL FUCKED! UP! ON MOUNTAIN DEW; MY WHOLE LIFE IS JUST DEW AND MEMES! [Post Chorus] ALL JACKED UP! ON MOUNTAIN DEW! FUCKED! UP! ON MOUNTAIN DEW! [Verse 2] My empty bottles crowd the floor. I kick one clear to shut the door. Next match loads in; I miss my shot. The chat clips that; my face turns hot. I slam the desk; that bottle spills. My space bar sticks; so much for skills. The round times out; I leave it dead. I kick my chair beside the bed. The carpet turns into a pit. I trip on cords and eat some shit. My webcam caught me going down. They crop my face and call me “clown.” I watch that clip, then hit “replay.” The chat yells, “Post it anyway!” Now I’m the meme on my own screen. They tint my whole damn face lime green. [Chorus] I'M ALL JACKED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW; MY BLOOD RUNS RED WHITE AND NEON GREEN; I'M ALL FUCKED! UP! ON MOUNTAIN DEW; MY WHOLE LIFE IS JUST DEW AND MEMES! [Post Chorus] ALL JACKED UP! ON MOUNTAIN DEW! FUCKED! UP! ON MOUNTAIN DEW! [Final Chorus] I'M ALL JACKED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW; MY BLOOD RUNS RED WHITE AND NEON GREEN; I'M ALL FUCKED! UP! ON MOUNTAIN DEW; MY WHOLE LIFE IS JUST DEW AND MEMES! [Outro — final guitar chugs, hard stop]