The Emperor of 618 Commercial Street ©2026 by ContempoJedi [Intro] [Verse] The banks took his rice and the markets went cold, He lost every cent of his merchant-prince gold. But Joshua didn't just wither and die, He looked at the sun with a glint in his eye. He put on a coat with a gold-braided wing, And told the Gazette he was doing a thing: "The Union is messy, the Congress is spent—" "I’m taking the throne—so forget the President!" [Chorus 1] Oh, Hail to the Emperor, Norton the First! HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! In a city of greed and a city of thirst— OUR EMPEROR! OUR EMPEROR! He’s printing his money on scraps of old card, NOR-TON! NOR-TON! And inspecting the gutters of every front yard. LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR! He’s got no army, no palace, no crown— NO ARMY! NO CROWN! But he’s the only sane man in this whole dirty town. SANE! SANE! SANE! So we’re all loyal subjects of a king with no bean— ALL HAIL! [Verse 2] He "fired" the Senate, he "ended" the fray, Then went to the diner to eat for no pay. The waiters all bowed as they brought him his tea, For he "taxed" every citizen fifty cents—free! When a cop tried to jail him for "acting a fool," The Chief of Police said, "Now, let’s keep it cool. He hasn't shed blood and he hasn’t told lies— He’s the only ‘Your Highness’ that San Fran recognizes!" [Chorus 2] Oh, Hail to the Emperor, Norton the First! HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! In a city of greed and a city of thirst— OUR EMPEROR! OUR EMPEROR! He’s printing his money on scraps of old card, NOR-TON! NOR-TON! And inspecting the gutters of every front yard. LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR! He’s got no army, no palace, no crown— NO ARMY! NO CROWN! But he’s the only sane man in this whole dirty town. SANE! SANE! SANE! So we’re all loyal subjects of a king with no bean— ALL HAIL! [Bridge] Is he the crazy one, walking the pier? Or is it the men fueled by profit and fear? He’s building a bridge in the air of his mind, A bridge that the ‘sane’ men would take decades to find. If power is just a collective belief, Then he’s a Great Ruler, and the rest are just thieves. [Final Chorus] Oh, Hail to the Emperor, Norton the First! HAIL! HAIL! HAIL! In a city of greed and a city of thirst— OUR EMPEROR! OUR EMPEROR! He’s printing his money on scraps of old card, NOR-TON! NOR-TON! And inspecting the gutters of every front yard. LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR! He’s got no army, no palace, no crown— NO ARMY! NO CROWN! But he’s the only sane man in this whole dirty town. SANE! SANE! SANE! So we’re all loyal subjects of a king with no bean— ALL HAIL! [Outro] When he fell on the corner of California and Grant, Ten thousand people came out to recant. Two miles of mourners, a funeral so grand— For a man who ruled nothing… But the heart of the land.
