[Ω::FLOWBOT3000] [INTRO — LOW / LAID-BACK G-FUNK TALK-RAP] Ma said, “Go get your hair cut.” I said, “Why?” She said, “Because you're embarrassing me.” ... So I went. [VERSE 1 — OUTSIDE] Haven't been downtown in a minute. Sun out. Cars passing. People actually outside. I forgot the world had this many people in it. Walked past the coffee spot. Saw folks sitting at tables. Everybody talking face to face. That seemed unstable. I kept walking. Phone in my pocket. Headphones on. Then I saw the sign. BARBER SHOP. Walked inside. [PAUSE] And there she was. [VERSE 2 — THE BARBER] She said, “Hey, have a seat.” I said, “Yeah.” She said, “What you getting?” I said, “Whatever you think.” She laughed. I didn't know that was a good thing. She put the cape around me. Asked me how my day was. I said, “Pretty good.” She said, “Doing anything later?” I froze. Because online, nobody asks questions like that. Online, you click. You pay. You leave. This was different. [VERSE 3 — THE PROBLEM] She started cutting. Clippers humming. Mirror right in front of me. I could see her reflection. She asked, “Where you from?” I said, “Here.” She said, “Where you live?” I said, “Uh...” I almost gave her my username. [PAUSE] Caught myself. She smiled. I looked away. She said, “You quiet.” I said, “I'm listening.” She said, “To what?” I said, “Everything.” [VERSE 4 — SYSTEM FAILURE] See, I've talked to women before. Plenty. Thousands, technically. But usually there's a screen between us. There's a username. There's a comment section. There's a little blue button that says subscribe. You know the rules. This? This had no interface. No profile. No notification. No algorithm telling me what to say next. She asked me what music I liked. I said, “Depends.” She said, “On what?” I said, “The situation.” She laughed again. I started thinking maybe I was doing okay. Then she asked, “You got a girlfriend?” [LONG PAUSE] I forgot how conversations worked. [VERSE 5 — PANIC] I said, “No.” She said, “Why not?” I said, “I'm selective.” That sounded good. I kept it. She asked, “What kind of girl you like?” I almost said, “Verified.” [PAUSE] No. Don't say that. I said, “Someone chill.” She nodded. Then she said, “I'm pretty chill.” [BEAT] My entire operating system shut down. [VERSE 6 — THE CUT] Clippers buzzing. Fade coming together. I'm sitting there trying to figure out what normal people do. Do I ask for her number? Do I wait? Do I compliment her? Do I leave? Mom told me to get a haircut. She did not prepare me for this. [POCKET SHIFT] I know how to send a message. I know how to scroll. I know how to disappear when somebody gets too serious. I know how to spend money without leaving my bedroom. But sitting three feet from somebody I actually like? That's advanced. [VERSE 7 — THE QUESTION] She took the cape off. Turned the chair toward the mirror. She said, “Looks good.” I looked. Honestly? Best haircut I'd had in years. She said, “See you next time?” I said, “Yeah.” Then I walked outside. [LONG REST] Didn't ask for her number. Didn't say anything. Just stood on the sidewalk like an idiot. Phone in my hand. Her face still in my head. For the first time in a long time, I didn't want to look at the screen. [VERSE 8 — COUCH PROPHET REFLECTION] Maybe Mom was right. Don't tell her that. She'll get excited. But maybe I should go outside more often. Maybe there's people out here. Real people. They ask questions. They laugh. They look you in the eye. They don't come with a subscription button. [PAUSE] That's complicated. [FINAL — DEADPAN] Tomorrow I'm getting another haircut. [MA] You just got one. [COUCH PROPHET] I know. [MA] Why? [COUCH PROPHET] I think she's working tomorrow. [LONG PAUSE] [MA] Oh my God. [COUCH PROPHET] Exactly. [DEAD STOP] [Ω::FLOWBOT3000]
