Hey… It’s me. Again. I know. I’ve been quiet. Maybe too quiet. I just… I don’t know. Do you still know me? Because lately… I don’t know me. I keep saying sorry. Sorry I’m too much. Sorry I got upset. Sorry I said that. Sorry I disappeared. Sorry… Sorry… Fuck. How many times can I say sorry before sorry doesn’t mean anything? I’m not trying to hurt anybody. That’s the thing. I’m trying so fucking hard not to. So I back away. I get quiet. I stop answering. I tell myself… Leave them alone. They’re better off. Some people call it isolation. I called it protecting my peace. Yeah… Peace. Funny. Because it’s really fucking lonely over here. Do you still know me? Do you? Because I’m still here. Somewhere. Under all this shit… I’m still me. I know I’ve been hard to reach. But do you still know… it’s me in here? I had people I thought I’d ride with till the end. Now I’m saying goodbye like… How the fuck did we get here? Was it me? Was it them? Was it both? I don’t know. And my brain won’t leave it alone. Around… And around… And around… What did I say? What did they say? What did I do? What should I have done? Stop. Just… Stop. I can’t fix everything tonight. I know that. I know. But tell that to my head. So I disappear. Again. Because if I’m alone… I can’t say the wrong thing. I can’t bother anybody. I can’t hurt anybody. Nobody has to carry me. … There it is. That fucking word again. Heavy. Am I getting heavy again? Is that why everybody feels so far away? Or am I the one walking away? Fuck. I don’t know. Do you still know me? Do you? Because I swear… I’m still in here. I’m just tired. I’m confused. I’m trying to figure out which thoughts are mine and which ones I need to stop listening to. I’m not asking you to fix me. I’m not asking you to carry me. I guess… I just wanna know… If I get quiet… If I disappear for a little while… If I lose myself again… Would you still know me? Would you look at Ghost Girl and know… That’s Kay. She’s still in there. … Yeah. I’m still in here. Just trying not to hurt anybody. Trying not to hurt myself trying not to hurt everybody else. God… That’s exhausting. Maybe tomorrow I’ll answer. Maybe tomorrow I’ll explain. Tonight… I think I’m just gonna be quiet. Not gone. Just quiet. There’s a difference. Do you still know me? … Love, Ghost Girl
